The First really sucks

Billy was going through Holzerman's old blog and came across a gem of a reply to it...The writer was of course unnamed.

And Blogger won't let me C'n'P for some stupid reason so I get to type this sucker all the way out.

"I am facing The First in UCW. He doesn't do narrative but he "existed" in the civil war, the was a "Roman Gladiator"....no...no...no. That is just crap. That is not a character I am interested in or ever will be. It's silly. It's not real life. It doesn't even make sense. I have no interest in doing a program with someone like that. I would never vote for a character like that. It is a waste of my time. Yes E-Fedding is fantasy; (editor's note: Semi-Colon, elegant!) but there is a fine line that gets crossed to readily when the writer falls into narrative."

It's been a while since UCW...But I sadly never saw this blog posting before....And as Jules Winnfield said "Allow me to retort"

First is an idiot, that's the A-Number-1 thing you should take away from the character. You should call bullshit on all his past life stuff, you know why? Cause he's completely full of shit! It's all in his head...Yeah in UCW I did flashback Rp's to the time and place where First was supposedly living his lives, and I got feedback from the fed heads who said they liked it, so I kept doing it.

He never was in the civil war, he never was a roman gladiator, he thinks these things because he's a delusional moron.

Honestly, of my three 'big time' characters (Doc, Bloodhunt, First) I'd say First should be the easiest to Rp against of the three. When I was Rp'ing Doc I was a prick, I'd never sell weakness, never concede a point, argue everything into the ground. Bloodhunt would just get into JFK getting shot and be all conspiracy theory tastic, I mean you could call him paranoid, but he'd just blow right over that.

First I want people to insult. I had him having tea-parties and talking to stuffed animals just so people would cut promos on him saying "You're a fucking moron playing with stuffed animals!" I was and will be in the future handing my opponents the materials to hang my character, because he thinks and does stupid shit...People should call him on that...

So nameless slammer of First from years gone by, here's the backstory of the character in all it's glory (Note: This all could be Ret-Conned at a moment's notice)

Brian Nadanly was a goth loser in Salem High School and at the age of 16 he had a past life regression from one of the scam-artists who do that sort of foolishness...And for whatever reason, said past-life scam artist decided to tell Brian that he had 'the oldest soul he ever had seen' that he'd recounted just dozens and dozens of past lives...And from there Brian had the 'vision' that he was the oldest living soul on earth, The First soul...His gaggle of losers were quickly swayed by the past-life scam artist and Brian AKA First's story...So they fell in line with calling him First.

First was basically the leader of a cult of 5 morons...Which became 6 when in an effort to get laid, he decided to hit on a girl who was a social outcast...He told her that she was Muse, a soul almost as old as his. She fell under the spell of being 'Muse' and as a result, gained a new self confidence (Lost weight, learned to play guitar and drums) and became a free spirit, but her relationship with First never worked out romantically for whatever reasons that happen in teen drama, and anyhow First ran into Rozy a few months later, and well, she'd thought him being "The First" was cool, and she put out for him, so that took care of his girlfriend needs.

He hits a wrestling school, and next thing you know he's a big deal in UCW, pinning Dan Ryan (And thusly earning his right to be in the band) and winning it's world title...Stuff happens, he joins EPW...And we have HOPE and all that fun and frivolity...

Final note, if you think my character sucks, IM me and tell me so! Don't make me wait years for Billy to find your post in a Holzer-blog so I can reply to it years after you've quit Rp'ing, you hoodlum!