Dealing with Stupidity

While the rest of the E-Fedding Blogosphere burns over Impulsegate (Oh Katz is lucky the E-Fedding Blogosphere didn't exist for the Zane Incident) I'll spend my time far more productively by going over slights from nameless people that were published 4 years ago...Well not really, more to the point, I am going to talk about stupidity in characters and what's right and wrong to deal with it.


I was talking to Josh (Anarky/HAL handler) and he said to me "Well to be fair you don't make it clear that people shouldn't believe The First has lived all these lives" or words to that effect. So I thought to myself that maybe that was the case. I mean, I'd had First's debut be him living in his parent's basement and lamenting having to take out the trash, I was trying to make him as big a schmuck as possible, but maybe it didn't translate, I don't know.


But the thing is to me, the past life stuff is such crap, it's so silly that your bullshit alarm should go off and you should say "To hell with this, this is a bunch of stupidity! I ain't selling your shit!"


About the most campy gimmick in real wrestling is Undertaker, and he gets no sold all the time, CM Punk called him "Smoke and Mirrors" and Shawn Michaels constantly one upped and harassed him during the build to Wrestlemania last year. Now admittedly a lot of the people who've said Undertaker is a joke were heels, and then they quickly cowered when the lights went out or when a casket showed up, but still, they talked a good game, they didn't buy into the hype of the Deadman.


Like when I saw my first round opponent's bio in TEAM listed him as a mass murderer leader of a biker gang I no-sold it...Because somethings are just to absurd to be accepted, if somebody is pushing a gimmick like that, make them explain it...Make them sell it, make them defend what is really undefendable.


Of course if you talked enough smack about Yori Yakamo Jr. odds are you would in fact be laid out by a foot long dildo and pinned, so yeah, you might have to sell that his dildos can kill you dead and also bend space and time...Still if you want to call 'bullshit' on the dildos, you're putting your character's life, and the time stream, at risk.


That's the draw back of the crazy character, that someone will just not sell your crazy, and you have to deal with it, maybe the storyline and way the league is written your crazy *is* reality and they'll have to accept it...Maybe you really will take a flamethrower to the cast of saved by the bell...

Now by the same token, there are those who do sell the stupidity of the opponent, Kane was the brother of the Undertaker...People went after the Urn which used to give Taker his power...Pete Russo said it in my last post's comments "I'd tell First that I killed him 2,500 years ago and I'll do it again!" exactly...You could sell the stupidity of The First...You could be some past life foe or friend, whatever you want...

Now of course at this point some smart-ass is saying "But Mike, you talk of no selling a person's stupid gimmick, yet you were the one flipping over tables during the whole First/Brian thing. Defend your clearly hypocritical stance!" and to you dear smart ass I say, I'm going back to Undertaker...

Nobody calls Undertaker "Mark"...No matter how they belittle the stuff he does as being a joke, they don't deny that he is "The Undertaker"...For whatever that's worth...So I'd expect people to react to The First about the same...

And lastly, if you don't 'get' a character...It's best to talk to that character's handler, try to see the vision they had for the gimmick...That way you're not causing them to write a series of blog posts far far in the future about wacky gimmicks and shit...You horrible pricks...

Oh and Fuck J-Cup!

The First really sucks

Billy was going through Holzerman's old blog and came across a gem of a reply to it...The writer was of course unnamed.

And Blogger won't let me C'n'P for some stupid reason so I get to type this sucker all the way out.

"I am facing The First in UCW. He doesn't do narrative but he "existed" in the civil war, the was a "Roman Gladiator"....no...no...no. That is just crap. That is not a character I am interested in or ever will be. It's silly. It's not real life. It doesn't even make sense. I have no interest in doing a program with someone like that. I would never vote for a character like that. It is a waste of my time. Yes E-Fedding is fantasy; (editor's note: Semi-Colon, elegant!) but there is a fine line that gets crossed to readily when the writer falls into narrative."

It's been a while since UCW...But I sadly never saw this blog posting before....And as Jules Winnfield said "Allow me to retort"

First is an idiot, that's the A-Number-1 thing you should take away from the character. You should call bullshit on all his past life stuff, you know why? Cause he's completely full of shit! It's all in his head...Yeah in UCW I did flashback Rp's to the time and place where First was supposedly living his lives, and I got feedback from the fed heads who said they liked it, so I kept doing it.

He never was in the civil war, he never was a roman gladiator, he thinks these things because he's a delusional moron.

Honestly, of my three 'big time' characters (Doc, Bloodhunt, First) I'd say First should be the easiest to Rp against of the three. When I was Rp'ing Doc I was a prick, I'd never sell weakness, never concede a point, argue everything into the ground. Bloodhunt would just get into JFK getting shot and be all conspiracy theory tastic, I mean you could call him paranoid, but he'd just blow right over that.

First I want people to insult. I had him having tea-parties and talking to stuffed animals just so people would cut promos on him saying "You're a fucking moron playing with stuffed animals!" I was and will be in the future handing my opponents the materials to hang my character, because he thinks and does stupid shit...People should call him on that...

So nameless slammer of First from years gone by, here's the backstory of the character in all it's glory (Note: This all could be Ret-Conned at a moment's notice)

Brian Nadanly was a goth loser in Salem High School and at the age of 16 he had a past life regression from one of the scam-artists who do that sort of foolishness...And for whatever reason, said past-life scam artist decided to tell Brian that he had 'the oldest soul he ever had seen' that he'd recounted just dozens and dozens of past lives...And from there Brian had the 'vision' that he was the oldest living soul on earth, The First soul...His gaggle of losers were quickly swayed by the past-life scam artist and Brian AKA First's story...So they fell in line with calling him First.

First was basically the leader of a cult of 5 morons...Which became 6 when in an effort to get laid, he decided to hit on a girl who was a social outcast...He told her that she was Muse, a soul almost as old as his. She fell under the spell of being 'Muse' and as a result, gained a new self confidence (Lost weight, learned to play guitar and drums) and became a free spirit, but her relationship with First never worked out romantically for whatever reasons that happen in teen drama, and anyhow First ran into Rozy a few months later, and well, she'd thought him being "The First" was cool, and she put out for him, so that took care of his girlfriend needs.

He hits a wrestling school, and next thing you know he's a big deal in UCW, pinning Dan Ryan (And thusly earning his right to be in the band) and winning it's world title...Stuff happens, he joins EPW...And we have HOPE and all that fun and frivolity...

Final note, if you think my character sucks, IM me and tell me so! Don't make me wait years for Billy to find your post in a Holzer-blog so I can reply to it years after you've quit Rp'ing, you hoodlum!