the lifeless one

Wrestlemania was awful

2011-04-03T21:23:00.000-07:00

I know it's typical to over-react right after something's just happened, but man Wrestlemania sucked. Some of the in-ring action was fine, but the booking was across the board awful.

Alberto Del Rio Vs Edge

For whatever reason they decided to shoot Del Rio's push in the neck. I mean the guy jobbed to Christian two weeks in a row on Smackdown and then he loses the title match at Mania, what the hell is going on here? I'm going to be just disgusted if Del Rio wins the belt at the next PPV which tends to be nothing but Mania Re-matches, cause then this is just a stupid Vince "Everyone knows Del Rio's going over, so I'm gonna put Edge over, fuck 'em!"

Rey Mysterio Vs Cody Rhodes

Fine for what it was, a good win for Cody. Solid match all around.

Worthless Corre Squash, no comment

Randy Orton Vs CM Punk

I hate matches where the face is booked with an injury and then wins clean over the heel anyhow. It makes the heel look totally incapable of winning a match. I mean, why would I think Punk would ever beat a healthy Orton when he can't beat a 1 legged Orton? A good match, but I hated the finish where Punk was smart enough to avoid an RKO, but then runs right into another one.

Michael Cole Vs Jerry Lawler

Long, overbooked, and the reverse decision was just awful. Cole's offense was horrible and exposed the business, I have no idea what he was thinking with his 'not standing on Lawler's leg' move. Just garbage, the reverse decision was just garbage. We have to protect Michael Cole's heat here? Not Alberto Del Rio or CM Punk?

Taker Vs HHH

Best match on the show, they sold me that HHH was going to beat him, and there was a part of me that wanted him to. To me the Streak has gone from 'sacred' to something I want to see end. The two of them killed themselves out there, great match, good finish.

Snooki/Trish/Morrison Vs LayCool/Ziggler

Good for what it was, Snooki hit her spots and will make for good TV.

John Cena Vs The Miz

Again more overbooked garbage, why does Rock restart the match when it just gives Cena another shot at winning the title? I mean he hates Cena, can't he just kick his ass?

Why Rock went over both Miz and Cena is beyond me, he doesn't need the rub, and this isn't even like "Floyd Mayweather over Big Show" where Show's just a sideshow that gets attention, this is your main event draw and your new champion you're trying to get over, and you have a retired wrestler crush them both, so stupid.

As my friend Chris said.

"Over the last yearish the new talent they have pushed is AmDrag, Sheamus, Del Rio, Barrett, and Miz. AmDrag and Sheamus got pushed into a dark match that they didn't get to finish. Del Rio got to lose clean in the opener to a guy looking to retire, then have an integral part of his gimmick destroyed, Barrett got thrown into a random 8 man that lasted like 90 seconds and not even be involved in it, and Miz did win the main event at Wrestlemania... but was barely even a part of the story as he basically murdered his opponent to no avail only to have an actor hit one move and win it for him and then be promptly pumeled to death by that actor... it is appropriate that this was in Atlanta because it reminds me of another promotion that pulled shit like this in the same city... hell it was the same building where they gave away Hogan/Goldberg for free."

Preach on Brother.

Where I'm at right now

2011-02-10T23:50:00.000-08:00

I'm burnt out is pretty much the best way to describe myself. I just feel shot at this point when it comes to writing Rp's, I felt like I didn't do very well Vs Anarky in EPW and thought it was likely I would lose and that I'd deserve to, my Rp in A1E has been spotty over the last few shows, I'm kind of lost in both feds.

I want to talk to a couple people about working out stuff for the next show for EPW and then most likely take a break from EPW and A1E for the time being, I'm sorry to everyone for stepping out like this, but I really don't feel like I can contribute to the shows, and I want to devote my energy to my new idea.

Hopefully Chad will get my PM and my latest hair-brained scheme will be up and running sometime soon and I'll have another blog post about that.

Who will be EPW World Champion on 9/1/11?

2010-08-31T22:48:00.000-07:00

Same as the last post, predict the future and amaze people, or fail and be mocked, or neither will happen, anything's possible really.

Who will be NFW World Champion on 9/1/11?

2010-08-31T22:31:00.000-07:00

I'll post the rest of the Manson shoot soon, I promise, I've been a slacker, but I had an idea for a poll/thread and figured I'd post it while I still had it in my mind, so here is the first of two pretty simple posts, get out your crystal ball and tell me who will be the NFW World Champion one year from today.

Michael Manson Shoot Part 1

2010-07-11T20:52:00.000-07:00

BROWN: We’re back on Going Off Script, I am Will Brown joined as always by Allen Tyson, tonight’s guest is a man who really did everything you could do in the industry. A multi-time world champion who also held just about every kind of title you could in professional wrestling, one of the most controversial, yet well-regarded talents on the circuit who retired in his prime. His name is synonymous with both NFW and WFW, and you can't talk about Ares, Shane Southern, Felix Red, Jonathan Marx, Craig Miles without mentioning Michael Monaghan, aka Michael Manson himself.

TYSON: Thank you for doing this, Mike. It’s quite rare for you to actually do an interview since you retired.

MANSON: Thanks for having me. I thought enough time had passed for me to have more of a proper perspective on my career, and sort add an exclamation point to it. Or maybe a question mark. I don’t know.

TYSON: We’re glad to have you Mike, so what got you interested in the business and how did you get started? Were you a fan when you were younger?

MANSON: Aren’t all little kids? By the time I was a teenager I’d grown out of it, and was mostly into comic books and drugs. I graduated high school early and left home, and basically drifted around. I spent a lot of time in Europe and Japan, doing special projects and course studies that I talked a few universities into accepting as college credits so I ended up with a couple of college degrees that way. I was even in stunt school for a while, toured with a circus, and got back into wrestling since I’d help put together the rings and pass fliers and that sort of thing. I was taking kenpo karate in Japan and through one of the trainers got into the Ultimo Japan training camp.

BROWN: I’ve heard that that’s absolute hell.

MANSON: You’d wake up at dawn to hike up a mountain and then climb down for training for the entire day. And then there’d be your own private workouts, any chores you were expected to do, and sparring. Things always got really physical, but I was a black belt heading into and the school I went through emphasized street fighting. It doesn’t even look like real karate, but it was tough and physical so I lasted when almost the entire rest of the class dropped out. They put a mask on me because I was a such a smart-ass, and at the time, I was reading all about satanism and witchcraft because that’s just what I happened to be reading about at the time, and they called me Mephisto. I toured in Japan, Mexico, and Europe once or twice before the American feds took notice of me.

BROWN: I know you were in a league that was thought of as being a kind of minor league place when you first started getting attention, you and Ares were the big draws there, was that the first time you had met Ares?

MANSON: I cut my teeth in a lot of the smaller American feds, and Ares was working a lot of those same places and, somehow, we ended up having this huge feud across the whole circuit. We worked so much together that we became friends. In fact, he was my best friend in the industry for years. I learned a lot from that feud and time period so a lot of promoters just wanted me to be a wild, satanic mad man and just brawl and bloody the shit out of everyone, but Ares and I would always try out different things. Eventually, I started showing I could actually wrestle, do submissions, and actually come off the top. My character became more like me, but darker, more psychotic, manipulative. Ares went in the same direction, even getting that swastika tattoo.

TYSON: I remember that. It used to get so much attention.

MANSON: I was there when he got it and I was trying to talk him out of it all up until the end. Anyone can dress up like a Nazi and get heat, and he didn’t need it. But he was insistent, despite the fact that he was Jewish, man! So we used it. We became the evil fucks who didn’t care about god or satan and did whatever the hell we wanted, not caring about good taste or morals or anything.

BROWN: The Devils Incarnate, the DI.

MANSON: I was never thrilled with the name, but teaming with Ares got us further than just feuding. We actually worked with the jWo, which back then was the biggest thing going on the circuit, and that got us into Boston Action ‘N’ Destruction, which we had just taken over by the end. We would have had to have feuded with each other because there was no one else. A few other guys passed through DI over the years, but it was really me and Ares that made it work. I was kind of sad though since I won the BAD world title, and people were looking at me as the DI leader, and Ares got kind of jealous, even though promoters out there were offering him the world. He had the look, he had size, he could talk. UWA was falling over backwards for him, and it was kind of like, we like your friend too so he can come with you.

BROWN: So suddenly you were in the big leagues. What was your time in UWA like?

MANSON: Surreal in a way. I had gotten to know Doc Silver from the jWo and he always put in a good word for me with anyone he hadn’t pissed off yet, but it was all highs and lows. It was the biggest names in the world at the time the highest level of workrate and talent, and there was this huge momentum to it at the time. Me, Ares, Alex Wylde, and PC, Problem Child were recruited all at the same time and were basically supposed to be the next wave of stars for them. We all hung out together and were basically our own group while was Canyeta, Steele, Dones, and, sometimes, Craig Miles, depending on what week it was. There was a lot of politicking and in-fighting that I’d never seen before, and tried to keep out of.

BROWN: I remember your feud with JT Tyler.

MANSON: Oh yeah, one of the things Quentin Sullivan, who was always a big supporter of me no matter where we were working, did was let me do a lot of my own storylines. Ironically, it was at first a big three-way between me, JT Tyler, and Shane Southern. That was around the time Shane got into that motorcycle crash and hurt his leg and no one thought he’d ever come back. So it was just me and JT, tormenting each other every week over the US title. We were spiking the ratings and everything. We headlined a couple of house show tours, and Carlos Canyeta, I had become friends with, really wanted to work with me at some point. But Winston Steele, whom I actually travelled with a few times, didn’t want me getting pushed so much since he wasn’t a fan of my act. It wasn’t anything personal, plus he knew he was dropping the world title to Canyeta and didn’t know what his future was like in UWA, especially with all these new guys eating up TV time.

TYSON: I remember that road trip series of promos you did with Ares for the Random Rumble, that stuff really set the internet on fire, why do you think that caught on so well?

MANSON: Because we sold it. Our characters were just exaggerated versions of ourselves. On the road, we were always on E and picking random broads, tearing up motel rooms, pretending we were satanists and making up rituals and sacrifices as we went along wot freak people out. We just put it on footage. My favorite bit was how back then King Krusher used to go on and on in promos about his brother who was a cop who died so we went to a garbage can to find him since I was claiming I shot him. It was like nothing else at the time and we weren’t just pushing the envelope we set it on fire.

It helped Ares more than anyone since to the UWA brass it made him look like the biggest star in the world. We were even talking about having me steel the world title belt -- which I thought would lead to me versus Canyeta -- but instead I’d give it to Ares. I was liking working with JT and knew my time would come so I was fine with it. Then the Random Rumble came and I assumed Ares was going to win it, though I really thought there should be a massive build to Ares versus Canyeta, but then Michael Sparks won. None of us knew at the time what the hell was going on, but I figure they realized they needed to build to Ares versus Canyeta, and didn’t want Canyeta losing the belt so quickly so they took someone who was pretty good and made him a star, even if he didn’t really deserve it. I mean, yeah, he was an al right guy, but Sparks wasn’t working half as hard as any of us at house shows and coming up with new material. We were revolutionizing the whole industry and he had some lame catch phrase about how guns don’t kill people, but Michael Sparks. I still wonder if when I was done with JT if I was supposed to work with Sparks, but the UWA folded due to numbers or whatever. Most of the roster had already been signed by IWC though so it was just like it absorbed UWA into it. Whole different vibe though.

TYSON: There was an even a IWC tribute show to the UWA.

MANSON: There was a lot of talent and staff who worked for both, and the UWA was really something in its day. The IWC was great too, but there were even more politics there than anywhere else I ever worked. Everyone was out to fuck over everyone else. I’m kind of ashamed to admit this, but I kind of fucked over Ares too since Doc took over the book and I turned on him for the big push.

BROWN: You won the IWC World Title. It was the first time a lot of people regarded you as a main eventer.

MANSON: I really clawed my way up through the ranks. I had title shots and worked with different people. I liked Wildstar a lot as a person and he was an incredible athlete, but didn’t really know how to sell or put a match together. I found later in NFW he had a greta mind for the business though and was the best wrestling analyst I ever heard. Pi could be really good, but was just a horrible little shit of a person. Still, it was the first match I ever had with Shane Southern and then one of the first time I worked with Anarky, and Javid Dones as a promoter. Also, while I always had my own fan base, I started noticing that people were into me as an act. There were times I was getting a face reaction. At the time, no one thought I could ever work as a face, but it got me thinking.

I won the world title at the end and I was really proud of it, but the IWC shut down not long after though Doc assured me it had nothing to do with me. And, really, I wasn’t even champion long enough for it to matter. I got to say the IWC was the last time I really saw Ares motivated. He could have gone so far, but I still wonder if me screwing me was what took the heart of him. He actually called me and asked me to sign with the NFW when it was starting, but he hadn’t stayed active on the circuit like I had.

TYSON: You worked for a variety of small to medium-sized promotions back then, most notably the IWF and NFWA. A lot of people like to hunt down the old footage of you competing back then.

MANSON: At the time, there was no huge fed that stood out above all the others. The NFW became that eventually though. I went to these other feds to keep active and because of my time in IWC and UWA I was seen as the biggest star there. I had the biggest contracts, I chose my own schedule, I had a lot of booking power. Hell, I’ll even say it. They’d buy escorts and sell them right up to my hotel room for me. I never had to buy any of my own E or acid. The agents just gave it to me.

But I look back and see this as the time that I really developed my character into the more machiavellian absurdist he became. I also became more of a technician wrestler and highflyer. I won’t lie though. I loved doing whatever I wanted.

In IWF, I had this Manson’s Rules gimmick where I chose the stips for every match and, sometimes, changed them in the middle. I worked with some cool guys like Nemesis and Suicide, Midiot too, Larry Tact. A lot of talent that could gotten much bigger if someone had shown them the right ropes. Maybe it should have been me. I don’t know. I was too wrapped up in my own work. I even had a storyline where I declared myself God and was throwing lightning and everything. I think that the point I realized that wrestling didn’t always need to be ultra-realistic and could be tongue-in-cheek. After that, my character in general became more like a comic book character and it opened my eyes up to what we could do with wrestling as medium which others couldn’t. Of course, even though I was drawing insane money, a few people didn’t like having me around.

BROWN: You got to be talking about Jean Rabesque.

MANSON: He’s the main one. Before him, he was the big guy in IWF, but then he and everyone jobbed out to me and I was still dominating him when were in NFWA. Every chance this guy got, he bad-mouthed me and tried to get out of even having a match with me since he knew he’d always job. This guy based his whole gimmick on having 5 star matches and being a 5 star wrestler. What a fucking idiot. You’re supposed to want to win all the matches in character. You don’t care about 5 stars or whatever else. The guy was pretty decent in the ring, but nowhere close to what he claimed. He was a horrible promo too. He even faked a leg injury to get out of a match with me in NFWA.

TYSON: I read about a backstage encounter between you guys.

MANSON: I basically threw him out of IWF. We met up in NFWA and King Krusher and Scott Malec who were running things back then wanted to take advantage of the real life heat and do the match. I was willing to so as long as I crushed the fucker since I had in every match everywhere else. Then he claims he hurt his leg, and this is where things get creepy. Even by my standards.

A few other guys used to tell me that he obsessively watched all my matches, taped them, and re-watched them again and again. They said he had this collage of pictures of me that he put up in every hotel room, and that he’d tell any girl he picked up to call him Mister Manson. I even heard he’d dress like me when he was off the road.

Then came the night that Jean Rabesque tried to kiss me. He was arguing with Malec about jobbing to me in a tag match and I rounded the corner and basically called him a bitch. We shoved each other and Malec told us to take it outside so I was waiting for him in the alley and he starts staring at me all weird and he leans like he’s going to kiss me. I couldn’t fucking believe it. I slapped him and then decked him and then stomped the piss out of him. Then he was really injured and didn’t have to work with me.

BROWN: How did you like working with Malestrom?

MANSON: Eh, decent guy, but not too bright. A terrible worker and a terrible promo. Yet, he had size and the look. Malec loved him and I was the heel world champion with a reign of terror going on. I had this program going with Golem. He was a big guy, but agile, could work. Wore green fur and had this mystical gimmick going that worked well for him. Had he really gone for it, he’d have gone far in NFW. Malec, of course, always wanted Maelstrom as his champion since he was the king of minor leagues and that’s really where Malec had his heart in as a promoter. It made since for the heel to get his comeuppance so I lost to Maelstrom and then they started building up to Anarky versus Maelstrom, but I was still the biggest draw and every show was built around me anyway.

TYSON: The NFWA folded not long afterwards though. Could it have lasted if you had stayed champion?

MANSON: I don’t know. It closed because Malec and Krusher had some personal issues to take care of, and the bigger promotions were signing up their talent. Krusher even worked a few NFW dates. But NFWA was mostly good. I got to form the Gentlemen of Destiny, or GOD with Nark and Jonathan Marx, who was the first really young wrestler who ever said he grew up idolizing me, which was weird since I wasn’t even that old. But, maybe because I felt bad because I didn’t do enough to help the younger guys in IWF, I showed him the ropes.

Interesting anecdote, few years later, Malec and Krusher wanted to try again with the AFCW and, of course were going to base it around Maelstrom, who pretty much only ever worked for Malec. They wanted to sign me, but, in going over everything with them, they wanted Marx as their top heel in a horsemen-like faction, and I didn’t want steal their thunder. Plus, I didn’t to do the same old programs over.

Instead, I devised a masked persona called Phoenix where I’d be the ultimate face. I’d even stop run-ins and shake hands and everything. The angel would have climaxed with me against Maelstrom for the title, where we fight off the inevitable heel run-ins and I break a chair under his head and do the turn and the mask comes off and the world goes berserk because it was Mike Manson all along. AFCW never got off its feet though.

Pro Wrestling Circuit (PWC)

2010-07-02T01:05:00.000-07:00

While I think of ideas for leagues, one I've kicked around for a while is a league based around tournaments, not in the TEAM sense, but rather in the format of golf or tennis, a season that has many tournaments over the course of the year.

The set up would be 4 Major tournaments and 6 Minor tournaments. The majors would have themes that would be mirrored by the minors. Why enter a minor? We'll get to that in a moment, but first let's go over the majors.

MAJOR #1 The Legends

Format: FWC style script writing trash talk

Kayfabe info: Held in the historic Greensboro Coliseum, The Legends is the once a year tradition where 32 of the finest wrestlers in all the land beat the heck out of each other for the sought after White Strapped Belt.

MAJOR #2 U.S. Wrestling Classic

Format: self contained narrative (by this I mean, you write your own stories, most likely in your character's mythos.)

Kayfabe info: Folks of all walks of life seek glory and victory in the squared circle as the U.S. Wrestling Classic. What tale of woe and weal will win out in the end and capture the Golden Bowl?

MAJOR #3 England's Wrestling Championship

Format: Open Rp format, emphasis on forwarding storylines and building up matches via segments and interaction with other handlers.

Kayfabe Info: England has a proud tradition of scrappers and brawlers, and expect you to come prepared to fight. Only the toughest can expect to walk out of Wembley Stadium with the Silver Crown.

MAJOR #4 PWC Championships

Format: Theme based Rp. Rp should be about your character's quest to win the PWC Championship, be it by trash talk or narrative. Your Rp should also be about the setting for that year's PWC Champion, as the event can be held just about anywhere on earth (Well within reason, we're not having in the south pole.)

Kayfabe Info: The season ends with the PWC Championships. The PWC Trophy is one of the most sought after pieces of hardware in the wrestling world, and whoever navigates the always tough field to claim it will have assuredly earned it.

Of course I'm open to suggestions/ideas about how to format the majors and what not will you

Question time

"You're not judging this all by yourself are you?"

I'd like to find 2 other people who don't share my views on Rp'ing, maybe from PTC or elsewhere, and have them judge things with me, and I'd expect them to go public with their rulings and reasons for their rulings, as will I.

"What's the point of the minors?"

Good you asked, Minors will be place holders, and also a way to insure you get into a major. Winning a minor gets you an automatic invite to the next 2 majors, and they add up. If you won both minors before the PWC Championships, you would get into the next 4 majors.

"What if I'm busy and can't attend a major I have an automatic entry for?"

Then let me know and I'll keep that entry open for you for the next one.

"So winning a major is cool, anything else to this?"

Well yes, I'll make up a points ranking system and a money leader board. This way we could have 5 or even 6 people happy at the end of the season, 4 different majors winners, a points leader and a money leader. Give people different goals to shoot for and talking points in Rp's...Like having the 1# ranked wrestler on the points system declaring his domination, and his opponent fires back that he just won the The Legends, and that Mr. #1 ranking has no majors to his name.

And so that's my new idea, questions, comments, suggestions always welcome.

PC Shoot interview part 2

2010-06-27T16:54:00.000-07:00

ALLEN: What happened with the failed run in NFW? I know you were brought in for a try out or two but you didn’t get on TV at all…

PC: Oh, that. Wow. Well uh, few things. One, Sully and Miles were leery about making it UWA part deuce. Think about who was there and being pushed from the start. Was Steele offered a contract? No, Sully and Craig had written him off. Was Canyeta? Fuck no. Dones? Yeah, and he was making half his old salary, and they buried him, completely. Hell, even Troy didn’t show up until much later on. The only UWA guys who came over were the ones who were on the verge of stardom, who Sully felt had unfinished business and untapped potential. So NFW brought over Manson, Alex, Ares, Shane Southern, and a couple tag teams. I still had a good name with Sully, but some shit went down between 99 and 2000 when I was in CSWA. Basically I went over there, pilled up, drugged up, I mean I was BAD…but I could still work, y’know? They didn’t know what the fuck to do with me, that was the problem, and I guess my gimmick wasn’t getting over with the fucking rednecks over in Greensboro. I basically got buried. The only reason they offered me a contract is because Troy and Sully vouched for me. Eventually I wound up no-showing a couple dates, and they fired me.

BROWN: I actually heard Melton had you fired for groping his wife or something?

PC: What? Man, how the fuck did that get started? No no no, I didn’t grope her. That was a whole separate incident from why I left- Melton’s a jealous bastard, he thought I was gawking at his wife, which I was…but who the fuck cares? And we had it out one day. He told me he didn’t like me, I told him he’s a faggot, and that was that. What’d he think was gonna happen, I was gonna solicit Teri Melton for a BJ in Greensboro? I was dumb, but I wasn’t THAT dumb. But that was only one reason why the brass didn’t like me. I just up and walked out on them. CSWA was all about the clean living, unless you were a Windham that is, and unless your name was Joey Melton. Then it’s OK. Otherwise, you were held to the Shane Southern standard, and I gotta tell ya, as much as I like the guy…I ain’t no fuckin’ Shane Southern, in the ring or out.

BROWN: So how did that impact you and NFW?

PC: Ok, so back to that. From what I heard, Sully wasn’t thrilled with the shit I pulled over there. Honestly, one on one me and Sully were cool, but man I was on a lot of drugs at the time and uh…ha, I think he felt I was a bad influence on the locker room. Like Alex, Manson, and the guys…he wanted their eyes on the ball, not their nostrils on the eight ball if ya know what I mean.

BROWN: Didn’t that happen anyway during Season 1?

PC: Shit man, that’s what I heard. I wasn’t there, you’d have to ask JJ. NFW was clean during 1.0, for the most part. So what happened was, Craig was still my boy and he hooked me up with the tryout. They wanted to see I could still work, gave me a few house show dates, told me to show up clean. First show went great, second show…I showed up zooted, tweaked out of my mind, and Sully gave me the scissors. They cut me, that was it.

ALLEN: Talk about your relationship with JJ Palazzo and that all got started.

PC: Oh JJ’s my boy. One of the coolest cats you’re ever gonna meet in the business. What’s funny is people think we’ve been friends for years and years, but we really didn’t know each other until I came back to NFW in 2008. When NFW opened it’s doors, me and Ares introduced JJ to Craig Miles as a favor to Jimmy Mylde. I actually didn’t know the kid. I was friends with his brother, RA, who now runs NLW. Going back to when I was training with Robby and Ross, you know, those guys were stars in NTWA. Jimmy was doing commentary and booking, RA’s camera crew filmed all the shows, and Robby, Ross, Ares, and Stan Vick were training all the new guys. Well, JJ came up the same way. He was working on his brother’s crew, and I think Ares and Stan were training him. Mainly Ares- he was Ares’ protégé.

ALLEN: Right, I heard the comparison recently between his style and Ares’.

PC: They’re very similar. NTWA closed I think around the same time UWA did, in ’99, so a lot of guys were out of work. Stan opened up WWWA, and JJ was only like 18 or something but they brought him in as Starr and he’d work TV. That was his first gig, I believe. Well about three months later, WWWA folded when the Prodigy Network went under, which effected lots of organizations because without PN they had no where else to go for a television deal. This was before ESEN. So JJ did the indie thing for a while until NFW got up and running, and that’s when Ares and I put him in contact with Craig. They immediately liked him because he had “the look,” but he was pretty inexperienced. He got a tryout, worked house shows for a few months, and they signed him after that. JJ told Sully the story about how him and RA’s dad was an Italian cult director who made all this high brow stuff that was criticized for being artsy porno, and Sully marked. Sully’s a pretty innovative guy when it comes to gimmicks; I mean, they had a white guy pretending to be Cuban for fuck’s sake…and it WAS OVER! JJ got the wheels in Sully’s head turning and they wound up calling him Castor Strife.

ALLEN: He left the business for a little while, and you both came back at the same time. Talk about that and the Jimmy Mylde angle.

PC: I know he had a back injury during Season 1, which is why they booked him as Commissioner of the East or whatever it was. Then like many guys in the business, he got hooked on pain pills after surgery. He was making good money working in LA with his brother for a while, I know that much, and did some straight to DVD acting gigs. JJ’s first love was wrestling, so I think he did the other stuff as a distraction until he could get clean and come back.

My comeback was a combination of two things: Jimmy Mylde, and Sully being out of the company. Jimmy negotiated my return, but it also helped that Mayfield was running shit. Eddie actually was the one who gave me my finisher, which is actually his, and then Sully named it. Props to him for that. I always had a good rep with Eddie, he knew I got clean, and Jimmy vouched for me…so it all worked out. But Jimmy also knew JJ was coming back, so they worked it as a package deal where I’d come in as one of his two “roided up” athletes and we’d take the tag division by storm.

The reason why the angle didn’t work was all due to bad timing. They were pushing BND as a team, but not as a stable. The problem was, Jimmy wanted it to be an anti-NFW, anti-garbage crusade, and it was too similar to Eddie’s “NFW Revolution” and what he was doing with JTP. But you won’t hear me complaining; I was just happy to be back. It all worked out anyway. Jimmy’s still on the payroll as a part-time commentator, Castor’s got a huge push, and when I’m not doing NGEN I work shows when they need it. It’s a win/win/win.

ALLEN: There were rumors Sully coming back is the reason you’re not on TV anymore.

PC: I hadn’t really been on TV. That had more to do with my push in WFW: NE, and NGEN. They were giving me more and more work, so my role in NFW diminished over time. Which is cool with me, I just wanted to work again. But me and Sully are cool now. He wouldn’t have taken me back, but I was already rehired when he got here. He’s seen I’ve gotten my shit together in the last couple years, so there’s no issue. We talk now and then, it’s all good.

BROWN: Think it’s about time we quit grilling you and let the fans get a chance…Caller who are you, where you from?

CALLER: Hi this is Steve from Omaha…PC what was it like with the Windhams? I know you were in the frat, how much time did you spend around Troy and Mark and the rest of those guys, did they really party as hard as it’s claimed?

PC: Uh, I don’t know what’s out there since I’m not on the internet too much, but I can tell you those guys partied like pros. Troy had the locker room jumping down in Philly. Just a non-stop party. The Frat gimmick wasn’t just something he came up with out of thin-air, that was how we were living at the time. Funny story- Troy took me down to the Windham family ranch down in Sweetwater years ago. This must’ve been summer ’99. So we get down there, it’s me, Troy, Alex, Manson, and Ken Severe, and we meet his brothers, his uncles, I meet Mark Windham for the first time. I go up to Mark, ‘cause he’s a legend in the business, and I go to shake his hand. “Hey, Mark, honor to meet you dude, my name’s Pete.” Shakes my hand: “Pete I’m gonna tell you boys this one time and one time only: don’t use the downstairs bathroom. It’s all backed up to hell, and you can’t flush. It’ll stink for days. I’m serious, don’t use it.” Uhhh, OK, sure thing. Like that’s the first thing you say to someone? “Hi, I’m Mark Windham, don’t shit in my toilet.” Come on bro, show some hospitality!

So of course, what happens? First chance we get, we take turns pissing in his fucking toilet. We’re thinking, “Yeah, we’re out of here when he finds out.” Next day comes, he doesn’t say anything. Later on Alex has to shit. “Dude, go shit in Mark’s bathroom downstairs.” He does it. “OK, now we’re getting thrown out for sure.” Saturday comes, it’s our last night and we figure if he throws us out we can drive up to Dallas and rent a hotel for the night, party over there. Mark still didn’t know, cause he didn’t say anything. That night we go out, we eat like fucking pigs, all that Tex-Mex southwestern shit they got down there. We drink, wash down some Somas, Mark gets coked out of his MIND, Troy too…I did a couple lines. Now I don’t know about you, but coke makes me wanna shit. On top of that, Manson takes it to a whole ‘nother level cause he went out and bought a bottle ox X-Lax. (laughter)

I’m not kidding, man. He’s like, “We’re destroying that toilet TONIGHT!”

We get back, make our way downstairs. Mark is already passed out somewhere else, Troy’s gone with a bunch of girls, and there we are like a bunch of homos trying to blow out Mark’s bathroom. Dude, the smell from the previous nights was so bad…but we didn’t care. I thought I was gonna shit my spleen out, that’s how bad I shat in his toilet. There was shit all over the seat, around the rim, everywhere.

Alex takes it further, he goes and starts pissing on the couches, Ken’s rearranging the bar, mixing all the liquor together. And then, to top it all off, and I kid you not…Manson goes, gets the Windham family bible, and jerks off in it. (laughter) Dude, swear to you, this HAPPENED. Manson jizzes all up in the Windham family bible.

Now we’re convinced- we’re DEAD. I mean, not only are we getting kicked out, not only are we never coming back, Mark’s gonna make sure we never work another day in the business. We even thought Troy might freak and it would get back to Sully. But the sad thing is, we didn’t care, we thought it was the funniest shit ever. This was the ultimate, cause we just ribbed the WINDHAMS. Know what I mean?

Next morning, we’re having breakfast with the Windhams. Everything’s cool. We pack our shit, still no word. We leave, “Hey, you boys are welcome back any time.” Really? Wow, ok. Guess they don’t use that downstairs too often. No joke, TWO WEEKS LATER, it took THAT LONG…Troy approaches us in the locker room. He didn’t even look mad, so much as disappointed and just fatigued by the whole thing.

“Guys, what’d you do at the house?” Blank stares. “Mark’s demanding I find out who’s responsible.” Well, we’re all kind of responsible, right? “Yeah but he wants to know specifically who shit in the bathroom.” WHAT?! Doesn’t care who pissed on his couches? Doesn’t care who ruined a thousand dollars worth of top shelf liquor? Doesn’t care that Manson DESICRATED their family bible? No, he wants to know who shit in his toilet. Our answer was basically, “We don’t remember.” Troy says, “He’s demanding whoever’s responsible pays for the plumbing.” Fuck man, he’s made his money, let him pay for it. Troy just kinda shrugs and goes “Whatever, you can guys deal with him. But you’re all banned from the house.”

But it doesn’t end there. Mark actually called up Sully, complained about us, and threatened that if the person responsible didn’t come clean, he was gonna have the feces brought to a lab. (wild laughter)

Duuuude I swear to you, I am NOT making this shit up. This motherfucker threatened to DNA test our shit to find who did it. Most of the shit was mine, but fuck it, I wasn’t gonna say anything. If he hadn’t introduced himself that way, I wouldn’t even have thought to blow his bathroom out.

ALLEN: Did he ever say anything about the bible?

PC: Uh, not that I heard. I don’t think that means the Windhams don’t care about their bible, it prolly just means they don’t READ their bible. But just as a precaution, Mark, Troy, if you’re watching this…DO NOT turn to Galatians. The pages are stuck together, bro.

Real quick though, I’ll say this: Mark dropped the whole thing and eventually forgave us. Me and him were cool when I got to CSWA in 2000. But Alex actually thought he was the one holding him down behind the scenes, which I don’t think was true. I think that was more Alex being paranoid, and impatient as usual. Once again, another promotion he could’ve been headlining if he just learned to play the game.

ALLEN: Caller, name and hometown…

CALLER: Bill from Reno, glad you guys got on the air…Love hearing the insider stuff…What the hell happened in TEAM? I thought your shit was hilarious…Management there just not care for you or something?

PC: Wait, TEAM has management? Shit dude, that’s news to me. Lemme tell you, and I don’t care who I piss off with this, the guys running the show over at TEAM have no business running an ice cream shop, let alone a wrestling organization. It used to be pretty decent, from what I’ve heard, but when they handed it off to new owners…MAN! Talk about shitting the fuckin’ bed. And it ain’t even cause they misused me. Which, they did misuse me, but that isn’t a big deal. Who the fuck am I? I knew Jared was going over, and I’m friends with Jared from way back in NTWA when he wrestled there…they should’ve made it a more competitive match, but that was only one small problem. The entire tourney was botched, and to this day we don’t even know who won. They never got the finals up and running! Fucking idiots…

BROWN: I got a question for you...NGEN and the whole crazy events with WFW: New Era…What led to you tagging with Cruise, who’s idea was that?

PC: That was just some brainstorming between me and Jonathan Marx. Personally I didn’t think Cruise would go for it, ‘cause you know how he is, he doesn’t like to fuck around with the Cameron Cruise tried and tested formula. But to his credit he said yes, and if they let us have a run I think it’ll get over big. I heard some people comparing it to “The Cameron Cruise Project” with him and Melton, but it’s more like “Cameron Cruise Goes To Hell.”

ALLEN: Haha, kind of like “Ernest Goes To Hell”?

PC: Exactly. “Cameron Cruise Goes To Hell” where PC is his tag partner and makes his life a living hell. I actually had an idea for EPW last year, but Cruise didn’t wanna do it. PC was gonna join Anthology as sorta the wannabe who takes shit way too far. So they’d be out at the bar, Cruise is buying some girl drinks, Wells is buying her shots…and PC spikes her drink and she gets alcohol poisoning and no one gets pussy. (laughter) Another promo: Cruise gets up in some dude’s face, Wells gets into a shoving match, and PC comes in with a beer bottle shank and blinds the dude. They all get arrested and brought up on serious charges, and PC has to pay a real top notch criminal defense attorney. “Come on man, we like to party and have a good time, but you’re shitting the bed!” Anthology parties, PC comes in and shits the bed. Classic, right?

ALLEN: Oh man. We can take one more call…Caller, make it a good one.

CALLER: Dale from Orlando…PC you’ve been honest with your drug use, what’s your thoughts on the drug testing policy in NFW. Is it legit, and if it is, is it still enough or could it be tightened even more?

PC: Hi Dale. How’s Disney World, buddy? Uh, drug testing in NFW, let’s see. Well you have to go back to the beginning of say, Season 1. From what I hear, and I know lots of guys who were there at the time like Cruise, JJ, Mikey Manson, Steel Viper, Marx. They all tell me that not only was drug use rampant, not only was it turned a blind eye to, but it was encouraged. Now that ain’t me calling out Sully, ‘cause I know he hates that shit. It was two guys: Manson and Miles. And if you talk to one, he’ll blame the other. Manson says it was all Miles, Miles says it was all Manson, but the reality is: it was both of them. They turned that locker room into a shit show. And I know for a fact a lot of it was happening under Eddie too, although he helped get it under control. So they let everyone become junkies, they even made it COOL to be a junkie, which, where the fuck was my phone call? (laughter) I’m serious. It wasn’t cool to be a junkie when I was on the stuff. I was getting blackballed from every locker room, but they give Felix Red a title. Anyway…go on, do what you need to do, just get to work, make dates, you need some coke? Here’s some coke. You want pills? Here’s a doctor or two you can shop. It’s cool to be a junkie. Few years later- it ain’t cool any more. We don’t want junkies. It’s all about the wrestling, it’s all about purity. OK, cool. But what’s missing in the interim?

Rehab. Where’s the fucking rehab for these junkies you helped create? Palazzo needed help for a while and he footed his own rehab bill. I could name you…six or seven other guys who were fired after failing drug tests without being sent to rehab first. It’s like throwing a party at your house, letting people get sloshed off their asses, and then banning them from coming back cause they drove home and got a DWI. No wait, it’s like if the police themselves got you drunk and then gave you a DWI. Eh, you get what I’m saying, right? I’d just like to see a program put in place to help some of the boys who right now can’t help themselves.

BROWN: What happened between you and Ares? I heard you two had a falling out.

PC: That’s still something I regret today. Yeah, I got Ares thrown out his old neighborhood. Man, that guy really took care of me when I was at my worst. Pills…all the time, drunk all the time, cocaine, the works. The bank was after me for some money, I was having major financial issues, and I needed a place to stay. Ares took me in, let me stay with him in this beautiful home, man, I mean this place was really fucking nice. But, as usual, I fucked it up. He was living in one of those neighborhoods with a homeowner’s association, which if you add me into the equation…that’s bad news. Nobody was supposed to know I was staying there, otherwise he’d be asked to leave. Well, one night, Ares is gone, and I’m playing my guitar really loud. Dude from across the street knocks on the door, tells me to turn my music down. I’m already jacked up on cocaine and Wild Turkey, so I literally smacked the guy in the mouth and told him to get off my friend’s steps before I beat him down like a faggot. (shrugs) Hey, it was wild times back then. Turns out though, the guy was legit gay, so he reported it to the HOA, called the police and had me arrested. I was actually charged with a hate crime for that. Shit hit the fan, and to make a long story short, Ares had to leave. He freaked out on me, told me I couldn’t be trusted, that I was a piece of shit, and to stay the fuck away from him. I guess I really took the guy for granted, because he was a good friend to me. We didn’t speak for a year or two after that, and then we were somewhat on good terms when I was in NFW for .2 seconds back in the day, but it was never the same. Shame what happened with him, too. If it weren’t for the injuries, he might’ve gone down as one of the all-time greats. Talk about a guy who put asses in the seats! Not sure what he’s up to these days, ‘cause we haven’t spoken in almost a decade.

BROWN: Any funny road stories?

PC: I just told you a bunch, didn’t I? Ares was a big scary guy, but deep down…man, he was the cheapest Jew that ever Jew’d. I’m serious! We used to laugh- lemme tell you what this guy used to do. Every time we’d stop at a diner or somewhere, I dunno, Applebee’s, Chili’s, Ruby Tuesday, wherever. He’d ALWAYS complain about the food or the service, just so he could get a free dessert. “Eh, I don’t know, there’s just something not sitting right. I don’t know if it was the pasta, maybe you microwaved it, or maybe it was when you put the lemon in my water and I asked you not to. It’s just not sitting well with me. How ‘bout you throw us some free desserts and we’ll call it even?” It was unbelievable, EVERY FUCKING TIME. It got to the point where we were paying the bill up front or while he was in the bathroom, just to avoid the situation completely. (laughter)

Another great story is the time Mikey Manson’s dog took a shit in Sully’s office. Manson was such a pig, man. He’d just leave shit around, or do something disgusting, and just shrug it off like, “Oh well, that’s just the way it is.” It was a well known thing, Sully rarely locked his office door. The money wasn’t in the office, oddly enough. Nobody knew where it was, except maybe Dones. Anyway, Manson would bring his dog to the shows, and if no one he trusted was in the locker room he’d just open up Sully’s door, whether he was in there or not, and leave the dog while he had his match. Sully never cared. So one night, he puts the dog in the office, and after the match he comes back and the dog shit and pissed all over the place. Which was weird, because the dog was well trained, never did stuff like that. On this particular night, he did. I just laugh it off, “Oh man, good luck cleaning that up.” An hour later, Sully approaches Manson. “Yo man, next time your dog shits in my office, you either remember to clean it or you find somewhere else to put him.” Dude, I was laughing. HE LEFT THE SHIT WITHOUT CLEANING IT UP! Who lets their dog take a shit and a piss in the promoter’s office? Wouldn’t you clean that up? You’d think so, right? But not Manson. And best of all, when we asked him why he didn’t clean it, he goes, “Why should I? He’s a dog, that’s what they do. You can’t train them to flush toilets. It’s his office, not mine.” He’s lucky Sully put business before all the petty personal shit, ‘cause anyone else would have suspended him or docked his pay.

ALLEN: How was working with Alex Wylde again in WFW: NE?

PC: It was great to see him again, but he looked like shit in the ring. Totally out of shape, just a mess. Even the promos were off the mark from what he used to be capable of. And then he leaves because they didn’t give him his “proper assurances.” Well what the fuck are proper assurances? You’ve been out of the game for 5 or 6 years. You think the crowd is on the edge of it’s seat waiting for your return? WFW is probably where he did his best work, but even then…there’s gotta be limits to what you demand when you’re negotiating from a position of weakness. He’s not exactly Troy Windham.

ALLEN: What did you think about Troy’s A1E run?

PC: I think they had the greatest all-around talent in the history of this business, had him highly motivated, which he hadn’t been in some time, and they jobbed him to Ken Cloverleaf. That’s what I think. No disrespect to Ken, I never met the guy, I’m sure he’s great, but Troy could’ve taken them to the next level. Palazzo loves them, though. From what he tells me, they’re using Castor the right way, Nadalny’s over there running with the ball, Jeff Roberts I hear nothing but great things about. So I dunno, maybe the Troy thing just wasn’t right, but they seem to have their act together. I just…if that was me, and I had Troy Windham, I’d make the most of it. But they have a ton of talent over there, young motivated talent. Hart, Daymon, etc. Cruise likes them too.

BROWN: I’m gonna throw out some names, and you tell me what comes to mind. Hornet.

PC: Moneymaker. Legend. I never got the appeal, but that’s just one man’s opinion. Guy made his money.

BROWN: Mike Randalls.

PC: Five star. Every main event I ever saw him in was five star.

BROWN: EPW.

PC: Consistent. High quality, pushing all the right guys. Never worked there, but I hear good things. That’s where all the action is happening. Dan Ryan runs a tight ship.

BROWN: NFW.

PC: Rollercoaster. The highs are super high, the lows are really low, but as soon as you’re off…you get right back in line. I’m a big fan of the formatting change they made, and of course their World Title has exceeded CSWA’s as “the standard.” And from a personal standpoint, it really meant a lot when they took me back, after all the bullshit I pulled.

BROWN: Shane Southern.

PC: Class, pure class, all the way. Top performer who had to pay a lot, a lot of dues before getting the main event, but he did it. He’s what happens when talent meets patience.

BROWN: Joe The Plumber.

PC: The man. He’s the man right now, what else can you say? And he’s not a premadonna either. Genuinely nice guy, doesn’t throw temper tantrums backstage, cares about the business. That’s why he’s the BOUSE.

BROWN: Mike Manson.

PC: Hardest worker in the business, left at the top of his game. Legend.

BROWN: NGEN.

PC: Entertaining, good talent, but they need to work harder to get the product out there.

BROWN: NLW.

PC: Same thing. RA’s a pretty creative guy, knows how to grab attention. He’s got the Palazzo gene for entertainment, but NLW needs to run more shows.

BROWN: Biggest asshole in the industry?

PC: Past or present?

BROWN: Either. Both.

PC: Uhh…I’d have to say (laughs) Doc Silver. Yeah, Doc Silver, fuck that guy. Career killing motherfucker. Built his career by killing off other people’s, in promos, in the ring, and politically. It started in AAWC, and just got worse everywhere else.

BROWN: But didn’t you once say he was the best heel of all time?

PC: Yeah, that’s why. (laughter) How many people did I kill in my promos last year? I’m a shooter, that’s why I’m an asshole too. I never disputed that. But Doc Silver is an asshole, biggest there’s been.

BROWN: Nicest guy in the industry?

PC: Brian Nadalny. The kid is all smiles, he’s like Opie or something. And they got him working with (laughs) Doc Silver Jr. over there in EPW.

BROWN: Who? Winters or Stevens?

PC: Haha, I’ll let you decide. Fuckin’ both.

BROWN: Three best workers of all time.

PC: Hmm. In no particular order…Ares, Randalls, and Canyeta.

BROWN: Canyeta, huh?

PC: Yeah I mean, he was a snake backstage, but the guy could work. Two of my ten favorite matches of all time are his: Canyeta/Steele 2, and Canyeta/Windham. He’s great as a heel right now. This might be his rebirth, and if it is then NLW got him at a steal.

BROWN: Best worker right now?

PC: Probably Impulse. Dan Ryan is underrated as a big man, so I’d like to say he’s up there, and of course JJ is always impressing me. He looks like Ares out there, except he’s more athletic. Karl Brown is also excellent.

BROWN: Best promo?

PC: JTP.

BROWN: Most underrated?

PC: From everything I hear, especially from JJ, I hear Westcott is not only underrated as a worker but also as a booker. As far as what I’ve seen, I’d say probably…umm…Wildstar. He’s rated pretty highly, but not high enough.

BROWN: Most overrated?

PC: Wow, fuckin…how time ya got? Two jump right out at me: Tom Adler and Kin Hiroshi. Ricky Zane was overrated, but every time he won something big it was because someone else fucked up backstage, so maybe he’s more “right place, right time.” Both IWC and NFW crowned him because the champion at the time fucked up. Maelstrom was super, super overrated. JT TYLER! Oh fuck, FUCK THAY GUY! Who’d I say was biggest asshole? Doc Silver? Nah, it was JT Tyler. That lying scumbag fucked over my boys at NTWA, he was a backstabbing cocksucker in UWA, and man…I heard they were gonna strap him had Sully not closed up shop. Man, I really hope that isn’t true, because then it would’ve died anyway. JT Tyler…good for putting crowds to sleep. And he HATED me, we didn’t like each other from the start. Ares’ injuries got 1,000 percent worse when JT potato’d him one time. I heard he ended one of the Violent Boys’ careers as well. What a freakin’ cock. Evan Aho was overrated too, big time. He was like Shane Southern with half the class, and half the talent. Fuckin’, they churned his ass outta one of them FisherPrice playdough cookie cutters. I think they called it the FisherPrice Shane Southern playdough churner. “I can out-Southern you!”

BROWN: Problem Child, it’s been a pleasure. Thanks for being on Going Off Script, glad you all tuned in…See you next time.

PC: Any time, dude.

PC Shoot interview part 1

2010-06-26T21:41:00.000-07:00

BROWN: Hello everyone, Will Brown here, joined as always by Allen Tyson, we’re here for the debut of Going Off Script, and we’re joined today by a man who’s really been everywhere in wrestling, Pete Iatello, who is better known as Problem Child.

PC: What’s up YouTube? And uh, radioland. What’s this shit, XM? Sirius?

TYSON: Well XM bought Sirius, but we’re on the XM brand right now.

PC: Already we’re off to a good start, I don’t even know where the fuck I am, haha.

TYSON: Cool man, we’re glad to have you. We’ve always been big fans of yours, and you’re kinda sorta infamous in the wrestling industry…

PC: Infamous, I like that!

TYSON: And you’re one of the few guys who hasn’t done a shoot.

PC: Oh I do shoots all the time, I just do ‘em in my promos.

TYSON: Haha yeah. Why don’t you start by telling us how you got into the business?

PC: Wow, that’s going back. I’m not sure my memory has the muscle for that. Ummmm…let’s see. Well I grew up in the Bronx, hung out a lot in the underground music scene, mostly metal and punk, shit like that. And at the time, in the mid-90’s, indy wrestling was getting popular again, especially in Philly with UWA paving the way and everything. So it was a natural transition in terms of ‘the scene’; punks and metalheads were getting down with the indy wrestling biz and vice versa. You started to see a lot of promoters hire punk acts to play their intermission, etc etc. And it wasn’t just Philly- wrestling orgs were popping up all over the mid-atlantic and tri-state area. You had EFW, WFW, Tri-State, NTWA, all these organizations, and I would go to these shows with my friends watching the guys wrestle, and some of them were like…you know, in SHIT SHAPE, I’m talking fat, no cardi, all that. I’d sit there thinking, “Dude, I can talk for miles, and I’m athletic, why couldn’t I do this?”

BROWN: So who was it, exactly, that broke you into the business?

PC: Well by this point me and all my buds were hanging out with the wrestlers after shows, getting drunk, living it up with them. I became pretty good friends with Alex Wylde, and this was I think…1996 I wanna say? 97? Alex was starting to really break out as a star in his own right, and the big leagues were taking a hard look at him. So he started training me, but only for a little while ‘cause he was on the move after that. Most of my training was under Robby Leland, aka The Great White Void from NTWA. Robby and Ross, who was Se7en, were training me most of the time, and they got me a job putting together the ring for NTWA. And then eventually I’d work some house shows for them. But I was real lucky, because Ross and Alex were two good friends of mine and their stars were one the RISE, man. UWA was interested in them, CSWA, and then of course…ACW.

BROWN: Yeah, that was your first big break, I remember that. Tell us about ACW and how that happened.

PC: Oh that was all Alex. For those that don’t remember, and most probably don’t, ACW was a big time Mid-Atlantic promotion. At least, they were, for a little while. What happened was, Ryan Engelman and Brad Smith, who were name bookers back then, lots of respect and money too, which is important, haha…Ryan and Brad put together all this money and got a bunch of other promoters on board and really hyped the shit out of this new organization, ACW, which was going to be this national powerhouse out of Jersey. Before they held a single event, ACW had a very decent TV slot, and what they had that was most important was the young talent, the guys everybody wanted to see pushed that just weren’t getting their shot in CSWA. I mean, no disrespect to them, but who the fuck really cares about Mike Randalls versus Julius Godreign 8?

(studio laughter)

PC: Ha, no seriously, I love Randalls, Godreign was always cool to me in UWA, and Chad and Steve made their money no doubt, but it was what it was. So ACW comes along, puts all this money behind the young guys, you’ve got Ares, Manson, Alex, Se7en, that ‘Highway Star’ dude that got the push from heaven and fizzled out, and the list went on. They were running an angle with Alex, who was their Interstate Champ at the time, working him into the main event. Alex comes to me and says, “I need a lackey, I need more heat…want a shot?” And I said fuck yeah. So over night, I go from busting my ass in gymnasiums to being Alex Wylde’s lackey on ACW television. They had me doing all this shit for cheap heat, like lighting dog shit in a paper bag on Brad Smith’s doorstep, pissing on the radiator, all juvenile, retarded shit that we used to do as kids, but hey…it was getting over. People booed me, they booed Alex more, and we made money.

BROWN: Where did the name Problem Child come from?

PC: The name ‘Problem Child’ literally came from the movie. Me and Alex were talking on the phone about what my gimmick should be, cause at the time I was wrestling under my real name. And in the background, I had Problem Child on. I said as a joke, “Yeah, I’ll be Problem Child” but Alex thought it was great and the rest was history. So to all you fuckers out there claiming I ripped off the movie…IT’S ALL TRUE, I did, so eat a dick.

(studio laughter)

PC: I mean, my initials are PI, so I could’ve been PI, but there was already a PI. Except he was like the McDonald’s version of me. The bigs created him for cheap heat, but see…I’m the master of cheap heat. Cheap heat may be cheap, it may be stupid, but damn it…I’m really, really good at it. You can’t take that from me, haha.

TYSON: Yeah, I remember Bob Ryder used to rip the shit out of you in the dirt sheets for being overrated, toilet humor…

PC: Yeah, well, Bob apparently was ripping the shit out of teen boys assholes too, so what the fuck does he know? Overrated…I used to love when they’d say that. What World Title have I ever held? What singles main event run did I ever have? I thought I was rated pretty accurately.

TYSON: So the ACW run continued…

PC: The ACW run continued, Alex was drawing, I was making a name, he was on the verge of stardom, and then something happened for the first time…and it would go on to happen many, many times…brace yourselves for this one, big fuckin’ surprise here…Alex got frustrated that he wasn’t being pushed fast enough, and he fucked around with the company. And in my experience, companies…don’t like to be fucked around with. Alex thought the Interstate title was garbage, wanted the World Title, wanted the main event, but they just weren’t having him drop that title. So what’s he do? “Aight Pete, the title’s yours.” Huh? “The title’s yours, man. I’m gonna get on the mic, in the middle of the ring, and crown you the new Interstate Champion. Congrats, man.” Uhhh, OK sure. You think they’re gonna be mad about this? “What can they do? They need me.” Alright man, if you say so. So he does it, makes me the new champ, and we hear…nothing. Not a phone call, not an e-mail, nothing. Alex just takes in stride, “Told you so, man.” But I’m thinking it’s the calm before the storm. In reality, it was no big deal for ACW, but in the long run it showed Brad and Ryan that they couldn’t trust Alex. And you saw that over and over and over in his career. Always a step away from stardom, from the big belt, and then the wall goes up: “Can’t trust Alex.” (shrugs) I could trust Alex, Manson could trust Alex, Ares could, Troy could, he was one of the boys and the people he was good to loved him back, but the promoters couldn’t trust him. Not that they could trust me either, but that had nothing to do with impatience or ego. That was more me being a drug addict and an asshole, hahaha.

BROWN: How did your title reign go?

PC: I dropped it to Jared Justice in my first defense. But that was OK, ‘cause I was comic relief at the time anyway. I wasn’t getting in the ring much at all. At the time I was kinda pissed about it, but looking back…me and Jared put on a hell of a match, and it showed all the internet dickheads and anyone else who was watching that I could work. (shrugs) I could work, man.

TYSON: And as I understand it, the UWA came calling not too soon after?

PC: Oh yeah, shit, that was like…phew, that was crazy how that happened. But lemme finish up with ACW real quick. So they slowly put the ki-bosh on Alex’s big push. They’d push him up a lot, and bring him down a little. Push him up A LOT…then bring him down a little. The Highway Star dude still had the belt, God knows who’s cock he sucked to get it, with that fucking gimmick ripped from a song.

TYSON: Yeah, what was the deal back then?

PC: I dunno! That was such a 90’s thing- base your gimmick off a band or a song. How many fuckin’ tag teams back then were named after songs? Danzig and Sepultura, one dude’s name was Skynyrd in UWA, Marc Robinson…the promoters loved that shit. I should have called myself Van fuckin’ Halen or something man, hahaha. But me complaining about gimmicks is like MJ complaining about child molesters. I got the worst of the worst. ANYWAY- Alex was so fed up with ACW that he swore to me if he ever DID get the belt, he’d lay down for Killer Bee and quit.

TYSON: Wow.

PC: Yeah, and I believed him too. Me, him, Ares, Manson, it sorta became a click and we were getting a bad reputation in the locker room. Then there was the TUSK incident where Manson punched TUSK in the mouth for saying some shit about him being a Marilyn Manson ripoff. Which he wasn’t, by the way. Some promoters wanted to present him like that, but aside from the name and the theme music, he was actually very different. People see the name, they see the theme song, and they think of the band. But with some it’s more coincidental than with others. Anyway, so Manson hit TUSK, who was like a big retard anyway, big fuckin’ baby, he goes running to Brad saying Manson punched him and pissed on his clothes while he was in the shower…which he did. So Manson and Brad had a falling out, Manson left cause UWA was pushing him, giving him more dates. Pretty soon Ares left for the same reason. Highway Star dude just up and left the business cause he thought he got an acting gig, which never panned out. Fucking loser. And they split up me and Alex. I got shitcanned to the undercard, Alex wasn’t making headway…so shit went from good to bad really quick.

That’s when the UWA thing happened. One day, out of the blue, I get a phone call. Guy on the other end says he’s Quentin Sullivan, and I recognized the voice from TV. I’m like, “Wow, you’re Prez of UWA and you’re calling me…that’s awesome.” Now the thing with UWA is, I was a HUGE fan. I tried so hard, so many times, to get in there, because that’s where all the noise was happening. The traditional crowd stuck with CSWA, but the new fans were into UWA, that’s where the business was headed, and Quentin Sullivan buying the company from Avery Prosser made it even bigger. Quentin killed off a lot of wannabees, man. He signed their talent, made them into stars, rinse and repeat. That’s pretty much why ACW failed, because they didn’t have the money to keep the cream of the crop, didn’t have the brains to know what to do with them, and when UWA, AACW, WFW started signing away their biggest draws…that was it. Game over. No more TV, no more crowds, no more ACW. Bye bye. They let the inmates run the prison, which was a problem, and eventually became part of the problem in UWA, but we’ll get to that.

So Quentin’s on the line, says he’s a fan of my work, and has an idea for an angle that he wants me in on. I told him I’d love to work in Philly, and the rest was history. I had a contract the next week, six figures motherfucker, and that was that. I left ACW without prior notice, they didn’t care, and I wound up bringing Alex with me. By that time I had worn out my welcome with Brad and Ryan anyway.

BROWN: Did you know what the angle was when you signed?

PC: Hahaha, no. Good thing too, cause I would’ve worked it for free.

BROWN: Tell us about that. They brought you in to work with Troy Windham, right?

PC: Specifically, yeah. You remember what it was like…Troy Windham was THE SHIT. My tagline was always “PC Is the shit.” But no, Troy Windham was the shit, brother, he was the real McCoy. By far, BY FAR, the biggest draw at the time, and the biggest draw in the history of this business. Hornet made money, Melton made money, Manson made money, Doc made money, Randalls made money, but Troy Windham MADE MONEY. They built Troy up for a run in UWA, with the “show Troy the money” angle, still one of the hottest angles of all time, which hit it’s peak I’d say around Random Rumble ’97. Then they put the belt on that elegant ASSCLOWN Javid Dones, hard worker, good booker, one of the smartest minds in the business at the time, but truth be told…he was an assclown. The guy could have had everything, but he burned and fizzled out. He was a better booker than he was a gimmick, and he sucked in the ring, but he was smart, he was Sullivan’s right hand, dealt with all the boys, and I think Sully was just repaying him. But this was before I came in. I had friends there at the time, so it’s really just second-hand.

Anyway, Troy stopped working the World Title scene and started feuding with Sullivan, this time as a heel. They made him a heel stable, The Frat, but it was Frat 2.0 since they did it once as a face, and Frat 2.0 was Troy, Bandit, me, Alex, and some douche named Red Headed Step Child. My second match in the company, SECOND MATCH, they had me go over Tex Wayne for the Mid-Atlantic title. It was unbelievable, man. In less than a few months, I went from being nobody in ACW to carrying gold in UWA, getting heat as Troy Windham’s stablemate. Way, way too cool.

BROWN: So you get to UWA and get your first sort of sustained push…What was the company like?

PC: Wow, how should I answer this? Well for me it was one giant party. That was MY UWA experience. And anyone you talk to from back then has their own, because the first thing anybody learned about the UWA locker room was it was full of cliques. Lucky for me, I was in good with Troy, Miles, Manson, Ares, Alex, and Sullivan liked me well enough. And like I said, it was a party. It was work, but it was fun, and we lived like Kings. Then you had the Dones/Steele/Canyeta triumvirate, which was all work and no play. Those guys lived and breathed the business, they worked hard, but you know…like anyone else, they wanted theirs, know what I mean? And who were the last three champions in that company…?

BROWN: Dones, Steele, and Canyeta?

PC: Exactly. They had pull, big time, but they had heat with a lot of the boys. Miles and Troy were cool with Steele, but had heat with Dones and Canyeta. Alex and Manson were cool with Canyeta, but had heat with Steele. Southern was being held down, at least to many of the boys. He kinda became the common cause, “If Shane gets over, there’s hope for the rest of us.” I don’t mean like he sucked, I mean…he was indicative of the future star talent that wasn’t getting it’s chance. In retrospect, no one was pushing new talent like UWA, at least not in the big time. But ya know, everyone thought they were a step away from the World Title. Not me of course. I knew my place, and was just happy to be making money. My push was a big step up from where I was, and PC wasn’t the type of gimmick they were gonna strap with a World Title. So hey, as long as the beer was cold and I was getting the friendly neighborhood discount on pills, I was all set.

BROWN: And towards the end, did you notice any change in UWA? Did people know it was going out of business?

PC: Uh…I don’t know if anyone really saw it going out of business, except maybe the people who were real close to Sully. I dunno, if Troy knew he never told me. But the factors that drove it out of business were definitely snowballing. Everybody knows what went down at Random Rumble ’99…

BROWN: That was when it was decided last second that Michael Sparks would win.

PC: Yeah, but that was just the final Jenga block that sent the rest tumbling over. The reality is, there was a lot of mistrust being sowed between the top guys, Dones was falling out of favor with Sully, Troy was talking about going back to CSWA, and it just got out of control. All the bullshit was getting to Sully, and Random Rumble pushed him over the edge.

I’d say the first incident that got the ball rolling on UWA’s collapse was when Steele went over Miles. If you remember, “Cocky” Craig Miles was getting major pops, “Troy” pops y’know? Everyone thought he was the second-coming, and that’s how he was being built. Steele was over, but he wasn’t the “God’s gift to heels” they were marketing him as. He replaced Dones as the top heel, and he was just raping everybody. Steele was the champ, and nobody could touch him. Now I didn’t know this at the time, but from what I’ve heard since from Canyeta himself, Miles was originally supposed to go over for the belt at the PPV. I forget which PPV it was. Apparently, when word got out to the top guys, and I’m talking Canyeta, Dones, and Steele…all three. This is from the mouth of Canyeta himself, he swears it up and down. They thought it made no sense to put the belt on Miles at the PPV. Their reasoning was that if the belt only changes hands at PPVs, nobody’s gonna wanna work the main event for TV, and it’ll be like a death race to get the PPV shot. So apparently, all three of them went to Sullivan, begged him not to strap Miles, and Steele wound up getting the booking reversed.

BROWN: Wow, Steele who was friends with Miles.

PC: Yup. How’s that? Here ya go buddy, big white cock right up your ass. Although I should say that Miles and Steele weren’t exactly best friends. They didn’t have heat, but there was a definite professional rivalry between them. After that, there was some serious mistrust between Miles and Canyeta, Steele too. Especially since the guy who eventually ended Steele’s run was…lo and behold, Carlos Canyeta.

BROWN: Did you think less of Canyeta for it?

PC: At the time I did, but looking back…could you really blame the guy? He was working the system to get to the top. Who the fuck hasn’t done that, in the main event? I felt bad for Craig, but if he wanted to be champion he shoulda been working Sully like the three douche amigos were. Y’know? I don’t think Craig really cared that much about being champion. I guess at the time he probably did, but years later I think it was just the principle of the thing that bothered him. The fact that a clique could influence the Prez at will. He might not even know to this day the details behind why he lost, but he assumed it was some political BS with Canyeta and Steele behind it. And when NFW was created, a lot of that was the impetus, and Craig was very protective of Sully to make sure people weren’t working him hard like in UWA.

BROWN: Why do you think Sullivan listened to them?

PC: To Steele and them? Sullivan’s a smart guy, he’s a business guy, and if you appeal to his business sense, he’s open to discussion. They made a case that Miles winning at the PPV would be bad for business and bad for the locker room, and there was no rebuttal from anyone else. Craig might not have made a strong enough case FOR himself. Who knows. But Sully’s about the money, first and foremost, and if you can make him money, if you can carry the ball, he’ll listen to what you have to say. Look, I don’t care whether it’s Sully, Dan Ryan, Chad Merritt, you take any booker in this business…and if he has a handful of guys working hard for him, harder than anyone else, and their focus is the business and the booking, they’re gonna have influence. So I’m not sure it was a Sully thing so much as a…you got three guys who decided to form a power triumvirate sorta thing.

Again, it all went downhill after Random Rumble when the locker room imploded- that was the end. Sully had enough of the drama, the BS, and he called it a day. Part of the problem was also payroll, but I think Sully got burned out and also got the feeling Philly was all tapped out, that UWA went as far as it could, and it was time to move on. Then of course came NFW, and Sully made his REAL money.

ALLEN: Before you get into NFW, quickly talk about what happened at Random Rumble and the aftermath.

PC: Oh God, this again? Haha. OK, so right before Random Rumble, you have Southern getting over, Manson and Ares getting over, Alex is over, I’m over, Maelstrom was brought in, he was over, Anarky was over, lots of guys were getting over. Couple with that with two things: one, Steele up and left after he felt they killed his character in the Canyeta match. Which, granted, they didn’t do him any favors by having him job three times in one night, but then again…you should’ve jobbed to Miles, you whiney fuck, now you’re bitching cause your loss to Canyeta wasn’t epic enough? Get the fuck out of here, you overrated crybaby bitch. Canyeta caught heat for a lot of the politics, but lemme tell you…Steele was responsible for half of it.

ALLEN: Did the boys have heat with Steele?

PC: I mean, I didn’t talk to the guy much, but the few experiences I had weren’t good. I can tell you right now, me, Manson, Alex, Ares, we thought the guy was a punk, straight up. Thought his shit don’t stink. Yeah, I’d be over as shit if GUNS went to bat for me, too.

Anyway, Steele was out, he wasn’t gonna be in the Rumble. Dones, who was Sully’s right hand man, fell out of favor with Sully and left. So no Dones. Canyeta was champ and would start the night by defending against Troy, so no Canyeta and no Troy. So let’s see…no Steele, no Dones, no Canyeta, no Troy…that means Sully had to elevate someone who was previously unelevated, and they would be getting a title shot at the end of the night. The boys were so fucking hyped, I thought they were gonna stroke out. Thing is, Sully kept the booking from everybody until literally the NIGHT OF. It was only an hour before start time that we learned who was going over.

ALLEN: Mike Sparks?

PC: Not Manson, not Southern, not Anarky, not Alex, not Miles, not any of the guys who’d been busting their ass, paying their dues, saying their prayers, eating their vitamins (laughter)…not the guys who people were SCREAMING to put over. Mike, fucking, Sparks. The X-MAN! Dude…shit ERUPTED. And it eventually wore on Sully. And to make matters worse, they didn’t know who was going to win the main event until match time. A whole locker room of people, guys with big, fragile egos, were convinced Mike Sparks was gonna be the new UWA champion. Of course, Canyeta wound up going over, but shit had officially hit the fan.

ALLEN: And what’s your take on it?

PC: (shrugs) Eh, Sully botched it, but again…he was trying to think outside the box. This guy turned nobodies into stars, repeatedly. He knew he could get creative and most of the time it would work out. It just so happens, this time, he got a little too creative at the worst possible time, and it just blew up. It wasn’t in his personality to start sending out fuck yous to everybody, so he took his ball and went home. He said, “Fuck it, now nobody’s making money,” essentially, and years later him and Craig would open NFW based on the lessons they learned from UWA. On the other hand, Sully’s been successful everywhere he’s gone. Maybe in retrospect we should’ve all calmed the fuck down and rode the gravy train to Disney Land, but again…egos were involved. (shrugs) What’s that line from ‘Point Break’? “We were young, dumb, and full of cum.”

Turn your character

2010-05-09T01:45:00.000-07:00

Your character is most likely either a face or a heel, now turn them, be consistent to the character, don't cheat, you hoodlums.

I'll start off by turning The First heel, twice!

HEEL TURN 1

Militant Gay Rights Activist- First becomes a jerk about things, calls crowds 'bigots'. Pretty much works the crowd to get to chant anti-gay things at him so he can turn around and show them that they are exactly what he says they are. CM Punk in a way where he has a point, but he goes about proving it by being a total scumbag. Would work as a face in states that have legalized gay marriage, unless he could find some other anti-gay event that's happened there so he can play that up for more heat.

HEEL TURN 2

"Soulless" Brian Nadalny- First does something horrible, like say, has an affair with Muse and ruins his marriage, and doing this causes him to believe that The Soul Of The First has left his body. He is now no longer The First. This creates an identity crisis in him that turns him into something of a lunatic. I'd try to stay away from nihilism as that's pretty played out...He could become obsessed with identity, since's lost his...Spending his time constantly asking people "Who are you?" (Which is also a cool Babylon 5 reference!) He seeks to force people to explain why they are they way they are, and it's up to him if he accepts their reasoning.

NOTE: If your character has been around for forever, it's no fair face turning them just because all know olde tymie heels just become faces from the legend/nostalgia pop, so giimme something to work with here. Hell, gimme replies for anything.

Getting your murder on

2010-04-19T14:22:00.000-07:00

I really don't understand why people need to commit murder in E-Fedding. I mean honestly wrestling has gotten by just fine for a long time without murder being committed. Hell when they 'killed' Vince McMahon the internet buried it. They thought it was tacky and cheap, a bullshit stunt to kill to pretend somebody died, much like honestly kill someone.

Yet I look around non-FWC leagues and I see people killing people left and right. Here's from the EWTorch's awards for March.

Heel of the Month: Lee Best- High Octane Wrestling
-Beat the rap and a federal indictment. Had his brother brutally murdered. Bottomlined Bishop Steele. All in a month’s work for Lee Best.

Now far be it from me to question High Octane Wrestling and it's staff, but if you knew for a fact that a man had his brother brutally murdered, maybe I'd think about not working there anymore...I mean Bishop Steele got off light getting 'bottomlined' (Unless that to was a way Lee Best kills people) But I think working in a place where you are likely to be not only murdered, but 'brutally murdered' is bad times.

Then I looked into "Just Wrestling" because well, it's name implies pure honest to goodness wrestling, wrestling is good, I like wrestling. Of course the first Rp I read from the place was a guy smack talking his uptight married friend for being wigged out about being at a strip club, and then putting the moves on a stripper and getting ready to have the sex. All of this didn't seem very wrestling based, but then I stumbled across the 'best Rp's of all time' and the first two had some level of wrestling about them, which was fine, I thought maybe I'd misjudged "Just Wrestling"

Then I read the third best Rp ever written in the company, and a guy kills an old love of his. They have a long talk about how she knows he's going to kill her and he feels bad about it, but in the end it is what it is, an Rp so good it makes the podium in the history of this league, is an Rp that referenced wrestling only in passing (As being the murdering character's career choice, and had a guy kill someone.)

I get that a lot of TV is about murder and crime and all that jazz, but Wrestling is supposed to be a simulation of sports, not prime time dramas. Murder is a crutch for a lazy writer, it's an easy way to shock and draw attention to yourself..."My dude killed somebody!" it's also a cheap way to make a character look like a bad ass. Your character is so bad ass they KILL people.

And this lets the murder genie out of the murder bottle. I mean how do you get more heel heat then a known murderer? Is Dan Ryan gonna be EXTRA mean spirited in his putdowns? Is Sean Stevens going to be EXTRA smug in his promos? It's like garbage wrestling, when you make a crowd understand that kicking out of being powerbombed through a table covered in broken glass can happen, it's hard for them to accept a guy got pinned with a DDT. Likewise whatever dirtbag moves a heel pulls, they aren't going to be nearly as bad as killing somebody, so how is he going to get heat?

So do try to keep the body count down to a reasonable level if at all possible. I know it's tough, those woodchppers are just so inviting, but seriously, don't do it, it's not worth it.

Questions for Layne Winters

2010-04-07T09:51:00.000-07:00

Josh asked a bunch, and while I think I could run with that alone, I'd like to get a few other people to ask some questions for the Winters shoot interview. So post some questions for Layne, and sometime around Monday or Tuesday I'll start harassing Billy and get the first "Going Off Script" posted.

Going off Script on XM Radio

2010-04-05T13:56:00.000-07:00

Having gotten only 1 person to sign up for the 2nd edition of pillar to post (you slackers) I have a new idea I wanted to roll out.

The plan is that a character joins the show "Going off Script" on XM Radio. Your hosts, Will Brown and Allen Tyson. It's a show that opens with a brief interview with Brown and Tyson talking to the character out of kayfabe, and then opening the line for some calls, with fans also asking shoot questions. The hosts tend to give wrestlers when they try to kayfabe stuff.

The readership of this blog would be 'the callers' who can IM/PM/Post questions to the blog, and the hosts would be me asking someone questions. If anyone wants their character to take part in this lemme know and I'll set it up, if ya'll are slackers I'll end up posting an episode with The First as the guest.

So tell me if you want in on this or Pillar to Post and I'll to get the ball rolling.

EDIT: Billy's offered up Layne Winters for a guest on Going Off Script. Anyone with questions for Layne should post them here or IM me at "War on Eurasia" on AIM. Once I get like 5 or so questions (More the better) I'll harass Billy with them and get this show on the road.

The silence is deafening

2010-03-29T14:03:00.000-07:00

Jon Katz posted a blog about a lack of discussion, and he's right that we're all lazy, but what I wanted to talk about is a lack of feedback.

Crash 50, and the three legs of the EPW/NE joint show Aggression 50, Destrucity II, and Sin City Showdown got posted, Crash 50 was a production that was 6 months in the arrival, yet when I check the feedback thread, the only detailed feedback I've seen for it was from Billy (fanatical NFW'er) and Katz himself, the fed head. Aggression 50 got detailed feedback from me, Seth, Fuse, Destrucity II got an airball, and Sin City Showdown got detailed feedback from only me and Karl Brown.

Does nobody really care about this stuff? I mean I know we all like to say we're very busy and have so much going on in our very busy lives that it's hard to meet the grueling demands to do 2-3 Rp's every month or so, (Slave driving fed-heads!) but I'd expect people to read over the cards and have a general idea of what happened, and to give their point of view on what happened, it's kind of hard for me to know if what I've written has connected with the audience if the audience never responds, and I'm sure the other card writers would feel the same way.

And the other problem with feedback is that generally the people that do give feedback are in the league, and seek to get pushed/remain in the good graces of the fed-heads, so feedback is almost always positive and anything negative is mentioned in passing. The most honest feedback would be feedback from people outside the fed who don't have a dog in the race and don't care who's feelings they hurt.

So give feedback, be honest, get something going, let's talk about this hobby we're all addicts to.

Writing matches sucks

2010-03-25T22:06:00.000-07:00

Writing matches is truly the crummiest part of this hobby, Rp's are fun because you are either telling a story with your character or you're smacktalking people and putting them in their place. Angles are fun because you're interacting with other people to tell a story and hopefully set things up for a pay off down the road. Writing matches, it's just drudgery, plain and simple, oh I do some things to try to make it entertaining to myself, like giving characters spots or finishers they didn't have before (and only if I think they are in line with the ideal of the character.) but on the whole it's tough work, and I find my style of match writing is kind of repetitive, if you did a shot for every time someone was picked up or 'hooked'...Well you would be dead of alcohol poisoning even if it was a 4 page quickie.

But the two biggest things I'd want people to know about match writing is attention to detail and to not be a slave to page count. On Crash 50, Felicia Hart was repeatedly called "Jessica" and even spoke and was labeled as such. Jessica is Shawn Hart's middle name...So that's an error. When Bloodhunt was leaving the ring, he was led away by "Miss America" a stage name that had been dropped forever ago and she was know as Emily for the tail end of Bloodhunt's NFW run and his pop ups whenever after that...So that irked me...

Page count doesn't really matter a whole hell of a lot, if you can tell a story in 20 pages for a main event that's fine, you don't need to go beyond that, hell if you think you can tell the story in 15 pages, do that. Don't think that you NEED to add more to the situation than is required. Putting to many pages on a match can make it intimidating to read, look you know the lazy scum who read cards are gonna scroll to the bottom to see who won or lost 90% of the time, then if they feel like it they'll go back and read the whole thing to find out how things got to where they were at the end. If you have a giant wall of text waiting for them, they might not be so eager to take the journey.

If a match has a finish that's not in doubt you really have no need to break your back on it. Whoever wrote the Roberts/First Cyber Title match in A1E is a sicko, 10 pages of a really solid match, that's a lot of effort for a match where one party no Rp'ed and the other party, being a total prick, stacked the guy twice...(Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with some people? Get a life.) and the biggest thing for me in the match was that Muse didn't accompany First to the ring. So I was like "No Muse?! Bah!" and then got a long, long match, and won it, but I mean, I knew I was going to win, Brunk knew he was going to lose, there was no drama, if someone felt the need to protect Roberts with a long match, then protect him with a flash pin or something, I'm not proud, I don't need to win a title via devastating clean win, I'll take it any way I can.

In closing on the whole Roberts/First thing, a 4-5 page match with Muse in First's corner would have made me way happier than a ten page Museless match.

The reverse of all this I felt with the P6B itself, I thought it was paced perfectly, written out well with all the proper details and what have you, it was very tight, in that it didn't drag, the action flowed very well, that was a excellent read of a match.

All of that being said, maybe I should have posted this blog after the voting deadline in A1E, sorry Cross and Mr. Entertainment.

I thought I wrote a good War Games match in EPW, and of course, I missed a detail somebody wanted written into the match, and well it sucks that the match let them down because that didn't happen, it's these kind of things that bug me as a writer, so I'll try to do better with that down the line, since I know how details being missed in my matches annoys me.

Just try to get a feel for the characters you're writing, read the bios and know what's up, and tell the story you feel needs to be told in that match, but don't force it, don't try to make it longer than it has to be because you feel like it won't be epic enough, there is a reason Strawsma is Strawsma and well, don't try what he does at home. Map your match out, guess about how many pages you want to make it, figure out your finish, and work towards it, as you do, fill in the details and the story of the match, get to the payoff organically, not with endless near falls and build up for the sake of build up.

Pillar to Post Episode 2

2010-03-16T20:45:00.000-07:00

With Bloody New Year, Crash 50, Aggression 50 all posted, and Sin City Showdown likely to be posted shortly. I'll be getting my 10 questions ready for episode 2 of Pillar to Post, the Around The Horn style talk show hosted by Green Machine.

So if you want on the panel, read up on those 4 shows and be ready for the questions that shall be forthcoming.

Deadlines

2010-03-13T22:03:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend who doesn't involve himself in E-Fedding. I was telling him about the general slow nature of the leagues on FWC, late cards due to people not getting matches written on time, etc, etc. And he said to me "Do these cards have deadlines?"

And that was really a sort of illuminating moment. That we don't put deadlines on card production. We have deadlines for Rp, but at some point, it become acceptable for the sake of finishing the card, to wait till every match was handed in. Short-forming is a 'necessary evil' that we never deem necessary.

Cards always have to be big, and if not big, than at the very least they have to be good. NFW was a bit late as we all know with Crash 50...I'm hopeful that Sin City Showdown gets posted this week so New Era can get off and running and EPW can get back to what's been a good turn-around on it's cards. NLW has hit a bump in the road because Billy's become active in training for an MMA match and school (as if such things could ever be more important than E-Fedding. I mean I'd only ever not bother writing matches if I was doing something important, like high end raiding in WoW.)

I posted an alternate reality fed in the blog, now for another one. Deadline Wrestling Fed. It posts that a card will be up at a certain time and it shows up at that time, even if it's just 'guy X beat guy Y at 14:21 with a power bomb'...Just gets results posted when they say they will, even if the matches aren't written out. This would give all the card writers a sense of urgency to get stuff done, because you know the fed head is dead serious that he's posting whatever he's got come deadline.

Would deadlines help? What is your acceptable level of waiting for a late card? When would you want stuff shortformed?

We're really just writers

2010-03-01T01:10:00.000-08:00

This is a writing hobby, and in the end, we're just writers, we have a story we're trying to tell and we interact with each other as we try to tell it. What E-Fedding really is in the end, is a collaborative writing effort. Feuds are just two characters being played off each other, the storyline is the actions that happen as the matches unfold before us.

I say all of this because I recently stumbled across the GTT7 forums. Now let me say that clearly the PTC folks take GTT very seriously, and well, I'd never last 5 minutes there. They want me to source song lyrics I quote? Doc Silver's DQ'ed after my first promo, because honestly, I didn't think I was trying to sneak "Only Happy When It Rains" past anyone as being an original Mike Stanton thought. To be totally honest to me it's not E-Fedding, it's writing a series of short stories, the wrestling content varies from 'trivial' to 'non existent' in the promos, the mythos of some of the characters would make the writers of "Lost" recoil in horror. This is some pretty dense stuff.

E-Fedding to me is two guys talking smack. That's about it, you might build the characters in skits and segments, but in the end, it's about the battle between two sides, you build them up, you fight. Someone wins, someone loses, and their story arc is defined through their careers, what happens in the ring effects them outside it, and so on and so forth. These GTT promos are self contained worlds, the opponent doesn't exist, the wrestling is at absolute best, an afterthought.

Now just cause I don't care for this stuff in respect to E-Fedding, I did like the stories, I liked the writing and respect the people that would take that much time to craft those stories and those ideas. I thought everything I read was well written and for the genres that they were going for, I thought they did a good job.

The guy who writes "Violence Jack" posted a note about how he felt that his third place finish proved to him that he wasn't ready to be published, and take a shot at making a career out of being a creative writer. To which I have to say to him, seriously dude, do you think Stephenie Meyer or Dan Brown could win GTT? Are you kidding me? Hacks far less talented than the people who busted their asses to make that finals have had major, major success as authors, I mean honestly, you're basing your writing skills on a Varga judged contest?! The day I let the mind that belched forth Biff Busey and his Saved By The Bell minions upon NFW have any power over me is the day I quit breathing.

My dream in life would be to get all the GTT people to join some forum I started up that had some random, 20,000 word long 'terms of agreement' that everyone just skims through and clicks 'accept' on, so that in doing so, all the stuff they wrote was legally mine, so I could publish 5 or 6 books and be hailed as a author with 'boundless imagination for new stories' who 'speaks with many different voices in each of his works' because seriously, ya'll are talented, and you need to do something with that talent, something more then slaving away hoping against hope you end up with a higher score than the other maniac who's just as devoted to his story as you are to yours.

Seriously, try to get this stuff published, try to get your names out there, do not spend however many countless hours it was you spent writing these things only to at the end have 4 guys judge you wanting or worthy.

Concept Fed: Alternate Universe Wrestling

2010-02-14T08:24:00.001-08:00

I saw Billy's dragon league and an EWTorch thread about concept leagues and thought about what would be a concept league I'd have an interest in. I'm pretty swamped in E-Fedding right now so I can't run this, but I'd most likely join it if somebody did.

Welcome to Alternate Universe Wrestling: AUW.

You join AUW by submitting a well known character you handle, as does everyone else, and once the league has about 12-15 people, we have a draft, and you end up getting somebody else's character to Rp. I don't want 'tribute' Rp's either where you try to copy the style of the other person, no I want a re-invention of the character, a new take on them.

The AUW Roster

NOTE: I haven't asked any of the handlers here about how they would handle any of these characters, these are just ideas I'm throwing out there. Feel free to be disgusted with how your characters are ruined, or tell me you would never have that idea for that character.

Joe The Plumber- Barry Clark takes JTP from his drug induced trash talking mania and turns him into a skirt chasing bad ass. JTP always seems to end up being the plumber on duty when Sorority houses plumbing has a problem. Same with wealthy women who's husbands are out of town, and also strip clubs always seem to get Joe to show up whenever they have a problem. Joe most likely has double digit kids and has been ducking DNA tests for years.

Castor Strife- Jon Katz knows Castor controls Hollywood, and he proves it. Castor is no longer directing fake snuff porn, but is rather a ubiquitous producer for some unknown film studio. He promises all the stars of AUW fame beyond that which wrestling can grand them, but sadly after the fools jump through the hoops, the projects never seem to get greenlit.

Anarky- Ryan Aston decides that Anarky needs to be a bit more...Chaotic...Anarky interferes in matches left and right, never having a reason or motive for his meddling in the affairs of others. He manages at one point to become Head Ref of AUW and his rulings effect the AUW World Title repeatedly. He is universally reviled by the locker room, but is also feared.

Sean Stevens- Tom Holzerman shows us the man that survived the gangs of Miami. Sean Stevens humble roots turned him into a man who rejects outward displays of wealth, knowing so many who got killed chasing that lifestyle. He has his money, but quietly donates it to charities for youth projects, and goes to high schools wherever AUW goes, telling kids to stay out of gangs and avoid gun violence.

The First- Barry Thompson brings us the shattered mind of The First, who fakes his way through the day as best he can, for in his own mind he's just endlessly reliving his past lives. Rozy is more caretaker then wife, who drives for him, medicates him to lucidity needed for his matches, and takes care of day to day affairs. Muse doesn't exist in modern times, but rather First pretends she does, speaking in a different voice for her when 'they' talk. So odds are he'll become skitzophrenic soon enough.

Impulse- Billy Ferraro has misfortune strike Impulse early in his career. In his second match under the mask, Impulse is unmasked as Randall Knox. The fans and locker room turn against him and his fears of believing people would think he's getting special treatment become reality as nobody accepts his victories as genuine. He finally breaks and sarcastically declares himself "The Chosen One" Randall Knox. He hooks people without mercy, the AUW locker room tells horror stories of the rehabs for shredded knees and broken arms that Knox inflicts upon his foes.

Shawn Hart- Josh Levinson reveals a Shawn Hart isn't all fun and games. Hart is a backstage manipulator, a former of alliances, he plots and schemes to keep AUW under his control. He always makes good on his deals, but the price is never truly what his partners think it will be.

Fusenshoff- I try my hand at Fuse, and the event that scarred his life, the car accident that killed his sister, becomes the turning point of his life. Fuse wears a black armband to the ring in memory of her and rails against the evils of alcohol, and how society accepts it as something to enjoy. He lashes at the 'drunk, stupid, and pathetic' in the crowds of AU. He cuts promos from roadsides where flowers and memorials have been laid out in memory of a person killed by a drunk driver.

Cameron Cruise- Gregg Gethard gives us a Cruise who's fresh into the sport and looking to make a name for himself. Cruise never becomes jaded with a harsh and cruel sport, always looking towards each challenge as just another chance to prove himself in the field of battle. Combat is all Cruise cares about, the struggle of fighting another man until one of you is the winner is his driving force.

Felix Red- Paul Miller shows us a Felix Red at the end of his rope. The drugs, the sex, the violence barely register a tickle to Felix at this point. Half the AUW roster thinks he's going to try to kill somebody and himself in the ring in one last blaze of glory. Felix fosters this belief in them as a way to keep everyone on guard, and there always does seem to be the possibility that maybe he's not as used up as he appears.

And the list goes on and on. I'm sure this would be a crazy as hell league, where half the people would love how the new spins on their characters and the other half would quit in disgust. I know I'd enjoy it, well as long as Doc didn't become a fan for some band like Creed or something.

A Reality Check

2010-02-13T09:04:00.000-08:00

This isn't about Cameron Cruise and his finisher, but rather about people who decide to do just absurd things in their Rp's...

Brunk sent me a link to an Rp against an opponent he was fighting in some non-FWC league, and the guy had a promo where his character blew off Meagan Fox. Sorry baby, love you, not in love with you...I don't know if this was done to establish his character as being really amazingly 'big time' or something, but well...It's just absurd...

The biggest star in wrestling today is John Cena...And if he was lucky he'd be able to get on camera with Meagan Fox on his best day, much less be able to do a promo with her where she was willing to have him tell her 'thanks but no thanks'

So ease up on the insanity...You're not A-List in Hollywood...Hell I always feel lame if I have Doc Silver run into Shirley Manson...

FWC Top Ten

2010-01-29T18:48:00.001-08:00

I sent this to Chad, figured I'd post my vote on my blog also.

1) Sean Stevens

2) Joe The Plumber

JTP and Stevens are to me the "Brock Vs Fedor" of FWC. Even with their impending meeting in a 5 way at Crash 50, they still aren't going to meet 1 on 1 in a neutral setting. I view JTP as the Fedor here, the unbeatable killer who always dominates everyone, but he's not as active as he should be. Before Lesnar came around a lot of people stopped bothering trying to rate Heavyweights, as clearly nobody was in Fedor's league, but there would be lots of debates that Anderson Silva had overtaken Fedor for #1 pound-for-pound in the world, because he was laying out everyone UFC put in front of him, while Fedor was doing nothing and now and then arm-barring 7 foot sideshow freaks. When Brock showed up and just bullrushed the UFC heavyweight division he became the UFC fanboys answer to Fedor. The one guy Fedor backers couldn't swear Fedor would beat.

It started with everyone saying "Oh Fedor would kill Brock" but then Brock started winning and winning, then he pounded out Couture, got his revenge against Mir. Meanwhile Fedor wasn't fighting much, when he finally did fight, somebody a 2nd round knockout over Brett Rogers was looked at as a weakness, and the polls on 'who would win Brock Vs Fedor' swung to Brock. Is it fair or logical? Maybe not, but that's how it was.

You ask people how they would have voted in August, JTP wins this, he's undefeated, the whole point of Crash 50 was that he's so unbeatable Eddie Mayfield has to go out of the league to find people to SOMEHOW defeat this guy, to finally pry the NFW World Title from him. But Crash 50 hasn't shown up...Stevens won the big Wrestleverse main event...Then cemented his control over EPW with his big win over Westscott and taking up leadership of Anthology. He's at the center of everything in EPW, and for the last few months EPW's been the center of FWC.

Stevens might not have the same aura as JTP, but he's got the belt of the biggest, most active company, and nobody's taken it from him in a year, so he has to be #1.

3) Shawn Hart

This was my toughest selection, and as I write this I still don't know if it's really right. Hart's in EPW's major storyline, he has the New Era World Title, so he's narrowly #3 over.

4) Impulse

NFW TV Champion, I know all about the crazy goings on with his feud with Castor Strife, Semi-Finals of TEAM. Impulse is just a really interesting character and I feel like people like how different he is, he's found an identity in FWC.

5) The First

Formed HOPE, is in the main event at Aggression 50 Vs Stevens, has been around the main event of EPW all year.

6) Felix Red

Now NGEN Champ, was WFW Champ. In Crash 50 main event.

7) Cameron Cruise

Was the de-facto leader of Anthology, TV Champ in WFW:NE, held the IC belt in EPW most of the year, also active in NFW.

8) Layne Winters

TV Champ in EPW, in the HOPE/Anthology storyline. If he's not higher then this next year I'll be floored.

9) Jared Wells

Held the EPW Tag belts all year, has main evented EPW cards, currently I’d say he’s #2 in Anthology.

10) Fusenshoff

This was between Anarky and Fusenshoff for me, I flipped a coin and it came up Fuse. Held the TV Title in EPW, was in the big angle with Stalker, was in a main event win on Agg 48. I think he’ll be big in EPW this year.

Ink and Piercings

2010-01-20T12:40:00.000-08:00

Since asking everyone how loaded their characters were, I figured I'd ask everyone another question about their characters, and that is, what kinds of tattoos and piercings they have. All of that is very visual and in a text based format, it's not really brought up a lot, but when you watch WWE, you can't help but notice Randy Orton has both his arms as sleeves of tattoos, and the various ink work others have had done.

So away we go, starting with my rogue's gallery.

FIRST- Had his ears pierced before his 'awakening' or whatever the hell you would call it and doesn't wear earrings. Has no tattoos.

CANYETA- Has a bunch of religious tattoos on his right arm, (Cross, Virgin Mary, the text of The 23rd Psalm in spanish) as he is, like most Mexicans, Catholic...Wears earrings now and again, has let a piercing on his right eyebrow heal over.

DOC- Has a tattoo of a King of Diamonds and a Ten of Spades on his left shoulder-blade, this was because Ryoko had demanded he get a tattoo and after much harassment he finally agreed to get a tattoo of a poker hand he won the $1000 buy-in tournament at Belliago with. He won the final hand with those cards and thus was stuck getting the tattoo. Has his ears pierced, also due to harassment from Ryoko.

So lemme know about your characters.

EPW Awards Part 3: Biggest Impact

2009-12-27T23:34:00.000-08:00

As you can see from the above, it's only got 2 possible nominees, and that's because they are the only two possible winners. This one is very close in my eyes. So talk me out of this (but try to be nicer then Josh about the match of the year thing. That was just hostile.)

#2- Sean Stevens- Yeah he beat frigging everyone, retired JA and Westscott, sent Rocko Daymon into a career tailspin and made me just thrilled to even lose to the guy. He was in 3 of my 4 match of the year nominations and besides all that, held the EPW World Title the whole year. Heck writing all this makes me want to change my pick. Well too late now.

#1- Anthology- They dominated the main event of EPW...From Agg 44 to agg 49 every card has had Anthology in the main event. If you were not in Anthology, you were fighting Anthology. They held the IC Title for most of the year and same with the tag belts and had Copycat nearly win the TV Title...Anthology spawned HOPE as a force to fight against it. They crushed TEAM so the finals never came out...Oh wait they didn't do that? Oh well...In the end the Anthology engine of evil was to great for "Triple X" not to join it, so they get my vote, even if it might be the only one.

EPW Break out star of the year

2009-12-23T20:40:00.000-08:00

For a 'break out' star, I mean somebody who's not in the main event currently who I can see being in the main event in 2010. They might have main evented a time or two already, but they have the ability to break out and really main event in 2010.

(Note: I feel Jared Wells and Anarky already main eventers due to what's happened in EPW in their time here, Don't hit me Barry and Josh!)

#4 Copycat- Garth's a great Rp'er and Copycat is a great character. With Anthology's backing I can see Copycat moving up the ranks. For me I wish he'd be a bit more of a monster heel then a ego heel, I know he's the Smartest Player In The Game, but the dude is 6'4" and 280. He's Sheamus sized, he should be kicking ass like Sheamus.

#3 Fusenshoff- I'd most likely move him up to #2 if it wasn't for the fact that he's caught in the crossfire of the HOPE/Anthology conflict...I enjoyed Rp'ing with him for our tag match and I like Fuse a lot, once this storyline blows off, Fuse is primed to pick up the pieces from the wreckage.

#2 Sean Edmunds- Edmunds the handler has really come on strong as of late, and he has Anthology's backing. If Sean keeps up the level of work he's had on the last two shows I can see him being a threat to contend for any belt he wants in 2010.

#1 Layne Winters- Billy's busted his ass with Layne and it shows. When I was reading all his backstory Rp's before our First/Stevens match, I was just blown away by how dark a character Winters is. He's really the horrible underbelly of wrestling given form in E-Fedding. I feel like 2010 will be a big year for Winters, between the HOPE angle and Winters own personal demons of having to 'beat the clock' before his body gives out, I expect big things from him.

EPW awards: Match of the year

2009-12-22T20:08:00.000-08:00

With the year ending, I figured I'd give out my awards for EPW, starting with match of the year, I'll have a poll up for this, so ya'll can tell me how right/wrong I am about things.

So I put my 4 match of the year nominees up for your votes, and here's where I rank them.

#4 Sean Stevens Vs JA Vs Rocko Daymon: This is #4 for me because the build up for it was rushed, literally put together at the end of the last Aggression before Wrestleverse III, and the Rp was only 1 promo apiece from all three parties, and in the end, JA retired after the match and Rocko went on a downward spiral, so really only Stevens got a long term boost from the match. Still it was as good a match as I've written and did establish Stevens as the man in EPW, so it's on the list.

#3 Layne Winters Vs Copycat: Good Rp (For the time, which was during the horrible period when the forums kept crashing) built up by the match on the card before, and a great read from Straw, just a classic match, if this had been for the World Title instead of the TV Title, this would have been match of the year for me. Copycat didn't suffer for coming up short and Winters is positioned as a break out star in EPW.

#2 Sean Stevens Vs Marcus Westscott: Again great Rp while the forums were wacky, and a Straw epic that was on par with the ladder match at #3. This one truly cemented Stevens as a juggernaught, and was a fitting end to Westscott's run in EPW. This would be #1 if not for the fact that Westscott's build into this match got screwed up by Miles and Ice Tre vanishing and for the fact that Westscott retired.

#1 Sean Stevens Vs The First: "Oh You WHORE you!" was Billy's reply when I told him my rankings. And well, I did write this match, and my guy was in it, but it's my blog and I'll plead my case. I'm not going to say the match itself was in the ballpark of the two Strawian epics at 2 and 3, but the thing is, for EPW's history, this was the most important match of the year. Much as Forrest Griffin and Stephen Bonner wildly swinging at each other was UFC's most important fight (Or so Dana White's revisionist history tells us) this is the match that launched First's main event singles push and established him as a threat to win the World Title, and it had Stevens win and keep the belt, which was something a defending champion hadn't done in forever. Both guys got over from this match, and they are from the looks of things heading towards an even more epic re-match.

And if you don't buy my reasoning, well at the very least I'm not an awful person like Billy who makes people quit this hobby.

What's my line

2009-12-19T17:48:00.000-08:00

Lines mean different things in different situations. Lines in chess mean a certain opening, hell in chess lines are so well defined, many opens branch off from moves that are far down the line. The Roy Lopez opening is so well defined that the book on it lists 'with 3 ... a6' and 'without 3 ... a6' meaning black's third move is so likely to be a6 that they branch off ideas based off what that move, think of all the opening moves possible in chess and then the moves after those moves, and yet this opening is so well know black's third move is a large point of discussion.

A line in poker is a way you represent your hand. Let's say you have an Ace and a Ten of diamons, the flop is a King with 2 other cards, and there's 2 diamonds out there. You know in you heart of hearts your opponent has a King...Now let's assume there's 10 bucks in the pot, he bets 10 bucks, you call...The turn isn't a heart, he checks, and you check, the river is also not a heart, and he checks again, and now you bet 50 bucks in a bluff trying to steal the pot. Your opponent hems and haws but in the end he calls, because he thinks you had a busted flush draw, and he was right, he saw what your hand was by the line you played with it.

Now, let's say that same hand happens, but when he bets the 10, you decide to raise to 30, he calls with his King, but he's concerned, on the turn, he checks, you bet 45 bucks, a little less then two thirds the pot, and he hems and haws and calls. On the river he checks and you now bet 200 dollars, a huge bet, with nothing but a busted flush draw. The thing is, the whole way you've represented a big hand, your line is that you have a monster hand. Your opponent finally decides to cut his losses and folds.

Now I'm sure you want me to get to the point, and the point is, there are lines we take in Rp feds, and often the line is defined by who does the first promo, kind of making them "White" in chess, Here's some examples

Debut Match in a league

White is the Debuting guy

Humble- "It's an honor to be here, and I'm fighting big star guy, and well it's gonna be a hell of a show.'

Cocky- "I don't know why I was booked against this bum, I'm gonna crush him and start gunning for belts right quick, I'm running this league over."

Indifferent- "New company, another paycheck, I guess I'll kick your ass, and you are again?"

White is the guy fighting the debuting guy

Respectful- "Welcome to league X, and I we're gonna tear the house down man."

Disgusted- "Of course management tries to use me as a stepping stone for the new guy, to hell with them and you, I'm gonna kick your ass!"

Weary- "Welcome new guy, more meat for the machine, they'll screw you like they've screwed everyone else, you should almost be thankful I'm going to start you off with a loss, give you a chance to escape."

Guys who have had a match before with a result.

White is the winner from the first match

Round 2 will be exciting!- "We had a great match, and that night, it was my night, who knows what will happen this time."

Round 2 is a joke!- "I've already crushed this loser, why the hell am I fighting him again? Oh right, you're there, well screw you loser, you're losing, again."

Round 2 is where I finish the job!- "I beat you last time, this time I END you!"

White is the loser from the first match.

Round 2 will even the score!- "We had a good match you got me, this time I get you!"

Round 2 will be different because I say so!- "Excuse X is why I lost (X= whatever my excuse is, yeah that's right motherfuckers, Algebra in E-Fedding blogs!) and that won't happen this time!"

Round 1 was business...Round 2...IS PERSONAL!- "Yeah I lost the match last time, but this time you're gonna lose even more then a match!"

Now that's the opening and you have to follow it, your leading promo should define your line for the period. If you have no respect for the piece of garbage you're fighting when you start promoing, you shouldn't find respect for them mid-way through the thread...If you lied through your teeth to start, keep lying, deny reality...If you told the truth to start, keep with it. You want your story to be one that's solid all the way through, you might need new angles on it to keep it fresh, but you want the story to be coherent all the way through.

How rich is your character?

2009-12-10T22:14:00.000-08:00

All our characters are loaded with cash, or at least that's what we like to claim. Dan Ryan and Lindsay Troy are loaded enough to buy whole wrestling companies. Wrestling would have to be a major part of the US/World economy if the FWC-A-Verse was real. Health Care Reform would live or die in the Senate based on what the Wrestling lobby or "Big Wrestling" had to say about it...

So now I ask you, how rich is your character? I'll go down the list of my major characters first.

Doc Silver- Doc was born into money, that was always a part of the character, he's like BJ Penn in the sense that he never had to work a day in his life if he didn't have to, but he got into wrestling and made good money doing it anyhow. Doc's most likely worth about 4-5 million.

Bloodhunt- Bloodhunt might have made good coin in NFW, but he knew he'd have to work after the business was over. Currently has an ownership stake in a used car dealership somewhere in Maryland, wrestles in bingo halls/VFW Hall's for whatever money they pay him. He's middle class America, making 40K or so a year, maybe a little more. He has enough in the bank for a rainy day fund.

The First- He's new to the sport, we'll just assume UCW paid him OK with promises of the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow and then ran for the hills when the creditors came calling. He'd still be on a kind of low paying contract in EPW and A1E, his profit margin would really be how much of a cut does he get on his EPW merch. I'd assume he's making a little under 200K from all income sources combined, which seems great, but odds are with his size his career isn't going to last more then 15 years (If it even gets that far) so unless he knows he has to make a big score in wrestling or else his nightmare of being "Brian Nadalny" and working some shitty desk job to provide for his wife and kid will be one that comes true.

So how do you see your characters pay scale? Reply damn you!

Dealing with Stupidity

2009-12-03T20:10:00.000-08:00

While the rest of the E-Fedding Blogosphere burns over Impulsegate (Oh Katz is lucky the E-Fedding Blogosphere didn't exist for the Zane Incident) I'll spend my time far more productively by going over slights from nameless people that were published 4 years ago...Well not really, more to the point, I am going to talk about stupidity in characters and what's right and wrong to deal with it.

I was talking to Josh (Anarky/HAL handler) and he said to me "Well to be fair you don't make it clear that people shouldn't believe The First has lived all these lives" or words to that effect. So I thought to myself that maybe that was the case. I mean, I'd had First's debut be him living in his parent's basement and lamenting having to take out the trash, I was trying to make him as big a schmuck as possible, but maybe it didn't translate, I don't know.

But the thing is to me, the past life stuff is such crap, it's so silly that your bullshit alarm should go off and you should say "To hell with this, this is a bunch of stupidity! I ain't selling your shit!"

About the most campy gimmick in real wrestling is Undertaker, and he gets no sold all the time, CM Punk called him "Smoke and Mirrors" and Shawn Michaels constantly one upped and harassed him during the build to Wrestlemania last year. Now admittedly a lot of the people who've said Undertaker is a joke were heels, and then they quickly cowered when the lights went out or when a casket showed up, but still, they talked a good game, they didn't buy into the hype of the Deadman.

Like when I saw my first round opponent's bio in TEAM listed him as a mass murderer leader of a biker gang I no-sold it...Because somethings are just to absurd to be accepted, if somebody is pushing a gimmick like that, make them explain it...Make them sell it, make them defend what is really undefendable.

Of course if you talked enough smack about Yori Yakamo Jr. odds are you would in fact be laid out by a foot long dildo and pinned, so yeah, you might have to sell that his dildos can kill you dead and also bend space and time...Still if you want to call 'bullshit' on the dildos, you're putting your character's life, and the time stream, at risk.

That's the draw back of the crazy character, that someone will just not sell your crazy, and you have to deal with it, maybe the storyline and way the league is written your crazy *is* reality and they'll have to accept it...Maybe you really will take a flamethrower to the cast of saved by the bell...

Now by the same token, there are those who do sell the stupidity of the opponent, Kane was the brother of the Undertaker...People went after the Urn which used to give Taker his power...Pete Russo said it in my last post's comments "I'd tell First that I killed him 2,500 years ago and I'll do it again!" exactly...You could sell the stupidity of The First...You could be some past life foe or friend, whatever you want...

Now of course at this point some smart-ass is saying "But Mike, you talk of no selling a person's stupid gimmick, yet you were the one flipping over tables during the whole First/Brian thing. Defend your clearly hypocritical stance!" and to you dear smart ass I say, I'm going back to Undertaker...

Nobody calls Undertaker "Mark"...No matter how they belittle the stuff he does as being a joke, they don't deny that he is "The Undertaker"...For whatever that's worth...So I'd expect people to react to The First about the same...

And lastly, if you don't 'get' a character...It's best to talk to that character's handler, try to see the vision they had for the gimmick...That way you're not causing them to write a series of blog posts far far in the future about wacky gimmicks and shit...You horrible pricks...

Oh and Fuck J-Cup!

The First really sucks

2009-12-03T01:15:00.000-08:00

Billy was going through Holzerman's old blog and came across a gem of a reply to it...The writer was of course unnamed.

And Blogger won't let me C'n'P for some stupid reason so I get to type this sucker all the way out.

"I am facing The First in UCW. He doesn't do narrative but he "existed" in the civil war, the was a "Roman Gladiator"....no...no...no. That is just crap. That is not a character I am interested in or ever will be. It's silly. It's not real life. It doesn't even make sense. I have no interest in doing a program with someone like that. I would never vote for a character like that. It is a waste of my time. Yes E-Fedding is fantasy; (editor's note: Semi-Colon, elegant!) but there is a fine line that gets crossed to readily when the writer falls into narrative."

It's been a while since UCW...But I sadly never saw this blog posting before....And as Jules Winnfield said "Allow me to retort"

First is an idiot, that's the A-Number-1 thing you should take away from the character. You should call bullshit on all his past life stuff, you know why? Cause he's completely full of shit! It's all in his head...Yeah in UCW I did flashback Rp's to the time and place where First was supposedly living his lives, and I got feedback from the fed heads who said they liked it, so I kept doing it.

He never was in the civil war, he never was a roman gladiator, he thinks these things because he's a delusional moron.

Honestly, of my three 'big time' characters (Doc, Bloodhunt, First) I'd say First should be the easiest to Rp against of the three. When I was Rp'ing Doc I was a prick, I'd never sell weakness, never concede a point, argue everything into the ground. Bloodhunt would just get into JFK getting shot and be all conspiracy theory tastic, I mean you could call him paranoid, but he'd just blow right over that.

First I want people to insult. I had him having tea-parties and talking to stuffed animals just so people would cut promos on him saying "You're a fucking moron playing with stuffed animals!" I was and will be in the future handing my opponents the materials to hang my character, because he thinks and does stupid shit...People should call him on that...

So nameless slammer of First from years gone by, here's the backstory of the character in all it's glory (Note: This all could be Ret-Conned at a moment's notice)

Brian Nadanly was a goth loser in Salem High School and at the age of 16 he had a past life regression from one of the scam-artists who do that sort of foolishness...And for whatever reason, said past-life scam artist decided to tell Brian that he had 'the oldest soul he ever had seen' that he'd recounted just dozens and dozens of past lives...And from there Brian had the 'vision' that he was the oldest living soul on earth, The First soul...His gaggle of losers were quickly swayed by the past-life scam artist and Brian AKA First's story...So they fell in line with calling him First.

First was basically the leader of a cult of 5 morons...Which became 6 when in an effort to get laid, he decided to hit on a girl who was a social outcast...He told her that she was Muse, a soul almost as old as his. She fell under the spell of being 'Muse' and as a result, gained a new self confidence (Lost weight, learned to play guitar and drums) and became a free spirit, but her relationship with First never worked out romantically for whatever reasons that happen in teen drama, and anyhow First ran into Rozy a few months later, and well, she'd thought him being "The First" was cool, and she put out for him, so that took care of his girlfriend needs.

He hits a wrestling school, and next thing you know he's a big deal in UCW, pinning Dan Ryan (And thusly earning his right to be in the band) and winning it's world title...Stuff happens, he joins EPW...And we have HOPE and all that fun and frivolity...

Final note, if you think my character sucks, IM me and tell me so! Don't make me wait years for Billy to find your post in a Holzer-blog so I can reply to it years after you've quit Rp'ing, you hoodlum!

a new scoring system

2009-11-14T10:56:00.000-08:00

We all hate buzzer shots. It's an evil of the game that people will wait till the last second to get the last word in before a deadline for a card. That's the nature of people when it comes to Rp'ing. So I was thinking about if there is any way to stop buzzer shots from being effective or a logical way to mitigate their use.

So let's say we set an Rp period for 8 days, now we should chop it up, day 1-3 are round 1, days 3-6 are round 2 7-8 are round 3. Score the Rp like a boxing/MMA match where you award rounds to each person. Don't allow stacking in a round, which is a 72 hour window if somebody fired off really early in the first 2 rounds. Now you give a real incentive to Rp'ing early, because if I'm the only one to Rp for a round, I win it, I'm the only one to Rp for the first two rounds, I win the match. If somebody wants to buzzer shot round 1 or 2, they give me materal to work with for the next round, and now they have to write three Rp's to do three buzzer shots, not just 1 at the end of a promo period.

And a well written buzzer shot can often times be better quality wise then 3 Rp's by your opponent, here's an easy example, I'm fighting someone I don't know, not a lot of history, I do a generic opening Rp, it's not great, the standard "I'm gonna win!" stuff...Then I get off a stack, because they aren't Rp'ing, but stacks tend to suck because you don't have anything to work with, a stack is mostly just a 'gimme something for the effort I'm putting out, effort my opponent has not shown' kind off thing...I value stacks a lot cause I love effort, but others hate writing them/don't care for them, so the value of your stack is always unknown. Then my opponent fires off a great rebuttal an hour before deadline, just a beautiful piece by piece dismantling of my arguments, just makes me look horrible. I scramble and get in a reply like 5 minutes before deadline, but I didn't have time to think things out or make sense of anything, so my Rp sucked, quality wise, I lose the Rp thread and now have a very good chance of losing the match, becuase my opponent took full advantage of what the rules allowed him to do.

By splitting this into rounds, my first Rp and my stack win rounds 1 and 2, and my opponent can't steal the match by never Rp'ing against me until the deadline, it forces him to engage me more then just 1 hour before deadline, makes us have an honest Rp thread, instead of just a sneak attack at the buzzer.

I'm sure there are flaws with this, and I'd love to hear counter-arguements. So agree/debate me in comments!

What if Booking II, Stevens Vs Cruise

2009-11-03T07:24:00.000-08:00

Yeah I haven't posted in forever, I'm lazy...But we're back after Billy's fantastic rankings column, that you all need to read right now...Honest, go read it, this will be waiting for you.

OK you're back...

Today's what if booking...What if Cameron Cruise had accepted Sean Stevens demand for a title Vs Title match at Agg 44?

The main event is now that, so now Copycat and The First's issue doesn't get resolved at all, unless both men find new partners. So maybe that storyline is left hanging/dropped, or it continues for a series of cards or might even lead to the two of them meeting at the PPV...This means Layne Winters gets a different opponent to feud with (Edmunds?)

So we got a whole hell of a lot potentally changing just there, but now we really have to up the chaos with figuring out how to book Cruise/Stevens

Stevens winning makes almost no sense at all unless we're just going to make him both Champion and God of EPW....Costing Cruise the IC Title and then making it vacant seems like really crazy booking, so let's just dismiss this out of hand.

The overwhelming likelyhood of this match is that it's a screwjob double DQ of some kind, but the question is, who runs in? If Anthology runs in, that only further builds Stevens/Cruise, Stalker running in for Stevens does the same. The First running in on either guy would build their issue...(Most likely Cruise in this case)...So let's say Anthology does the run-in...Does that get Cruise into the main event at Russian Roulette? What happens then to the IC title, does he lose it before to someone? Is it also at risk?

Now the last option is that Cruise wins the World Title, if you recall that card, Siegel and I did about 400 Rp's each, so he assuredly would have kept up with Jamar if not done more then him, Anthology was coming off a big run at Wrestleverse. Could Cruise had rode that wave to the belt? I'd say it's 80% screwjob finish 20% Cruise wins World title...Now does Stevens stay in the main event at Roulette? Maybe he ends up facing The First in a #1 contenders match and he's the poor bastard who suffers the brunt of the HOPE reveal.

So much wackyness could have happened if Cruise takes the match...And all we can do is ask...What if?

PTP Panel

2009-09-06T02:29:00.000-07:00

With Agg 47 likely to be posted early this week, it's time for PTP to get ready to make a new panel to tackle the current affairs of the FWC boards and A1E.

Anyone who wants to be on the panel, IM me or PM me. Again, make sure you're up on the FWC leagues (EPW and NFW mostly, with maybe some WFW: NE thrown in for taste) along with A1E.

Be around such that you can get back to me in IM or PM to answer a question or 2 within 24 hours of me asking it to you. The last show took about 8 days or so to get made, and 3 of that was because somebody thought they answered a PM and didn't and gummed up the works 3 days...So we can get this done within a week most likely.

You don't have to use your wrestlers either, if you want to make an 'Wrestling talking head' for the show that's A-OK with me.

So let me know if you can do it and once I got my 4 people, Greenie will get to scoring.

What's in a name?

2009-09-05T01:49:00.000-07:00

Let's say you have a gimmick or an idea for a new character. Now whatever your idea is, you have to have a name for this character, because really, that's the calling card, the selling point of your guy. The name should be something that tells us something about the character, and failing that, it should at least be an easy 'hook' as it were. Like "The Rock" doesn't tell us a lot about who The Rock was, but it was an easy thing to latch onto to. Same with HHH, or "Stone Cold"...Hell out of all the past decade's wrestlers that were big time, I'd say "Undertaker" was about as 'creative' as WWE got and well, Undertaker is a friggin' Undertaker.

Now also at this point we have to decide if we're going to go with a 'legit' name or a 'stage' name...Now you can have a stage name that looks like a real name, but it really won't matter. Like Billy brought out "Layne Winters"...And he's gotten grief from people who can't look past the fact his character is named Layne and is from Seattle...So you have to be careful what your name invokes as a reference...Cause if people get the wrong vibe then they have to read your Rp to 'get' the character...And who has time for such silliness really?! It's kind of hard to make a 'legit name' suck...It should have only 2 syllables per name...Cameron in Cameron Cruise is kind of clunky..."Cam Cruise" as a little more snap to it...Say both of them...I'm right...(Please don't hate me Siegel!)

Let's look at a bunch of names

Sean Stevens
Eddie Mayfield
Rocko Daymon
Craig Miles
Steve Knox
Joey Melton
Castor Strife

Let's throw in a couple clearly fake names.

Rook Black
Felix Red

Again, all short, easy to say names. There's a reason they work...Now for a 1 word stage name, again, simple is good...."Stalker" is pretty clear cut...Now "Fusenhoff" doesn't roll off the tongue, so I normally just think of him as "Fuse"...I can't say as I know well his mythos so I don't know where the name comes from. I think the heel color in EPW has even said "What's a Fusenhoff?"

"Big Dog" that's a simple name, and it sells the guy, he's the Big Dog, he'll maul you, cause that's what Big Dog's do..."Housefly"...I'm not feeling that housefly's don't exactly spell fear and intimidation to me....It doesn't invoke much other then a tiny and , at worst, annoying insect.

As for myself, well, most of my names were stolen from my friend's paper league. I think the only names I've come up with my own were Bloodhunt, and The First...Bloodhunt...I dunno the name is kind of clunky I think...And it doesn't really tell you anything about him, so I kind of failed the character in that sense. I guess that's why I don't mind him dropping his stage name for his legit name (Richard Garfield)...Cause well, Bloodhunt doesn't do anything for the character...The First is...Well, the first...The name sort of was the basis for the character and thusly defines it.

A quick note about Pillar to Post and serendipity

2009-08-18T23:29:00.000-07:00

a quick note about Pillar to Post (For which I have gotten a ton of positive feedback, I'm so glad everyone enjoyed it.)

I'll schedule the next PTP for after the following events

Crash 49

Aggression 47

A1E's August 21st Warfare

Once those shows are up I should have some new topics to discuss and be able to work another show.

If you want to be on the panel, you need to know NFW/EPW/A1E, and be on-line enough to answer 1-2 questions a day for 3-4 days...So let me know.

Now then...On to the main topic for today. Serendipity. What events have happened totally out of your control that have conspired to aid you in your career in E-Fedding...Here's 4 of mine, 2 for Doc, and 2 for The First.

--The former president of AAWC quits the company and hands it to Schmid, who just won the World Title...and now has to job it to me in order to appear unbias...That was my first World Title in this hobby...Total blind luck.

--Schmid screws Doc in a Godbooked job to Flic Rair. I lose my shit over this...Now you're thinking "Well that wasn't very positive for Doc" you're right...But the serendipity kicks in because Schmid's REAL plan was to get the belt off Doc and then job him via submission to Tom Adler in a WarGames...I can honestly say I have no idea how I'd have handled that besides throwing the most epic of shitfits and most likely quitting AAWC...And since by then I'd burned my CSWA bridge, I don't know what I would have done...Garbage Doc might not have even happened...

But as fate would have it, TW (Adler's handler) refused to put Adler in the WarGames. TW had his own axe to grind I'm sure with Schmid at the time, so he kept Adler "Retired" and Schmid, faced with replacing Adler with a manager for the WarGames, put Doc's team over.

--First is directionless and fresh off a job in EPW...I really hate where the character is at this point and don't really feel like Rp'ing for the next show...Barry T. posts "Felix is in for match, maybe a tag match" and next thing you know, The Forsaken are booked against the tag champions, who no show, and the Forsaken begin a year and change long run with the belts and really let me start figuring out how the hell to Rp the character.

--After losing at Wrestleverse III I really feel my mojo hurting...I'm trying to figure out exactly where I fit in the grand scheme of things as it comes to EPW...So I call out Copycat, since that seems logical enough...But even this match would be upper-mid card at best...But then insanity happens, Copycat refuses the match...Cruise doesn't want to fight Stevens...They challenge me to a tag match...I accept it without having a partner and then Stevens signs on to partner with First...So now I'm suddenly main eventing again in a huge match that The First ends up getting the pin...Just a really wacky turn of events that pushed The First to the fore as a big time player and big time face in EPW, I couldn't have planned any of it if I tried.

What crazy stuff has happened in your E-Fedding careers? When has fortune decided to smile upon you?

Pillar to Post Episode 1

2009-08-17T01:43:00.000-07:00

(FADEIN: Green Machine on the set of "From Pillar to Post" he's wearing a brown suit jacket, white shirt, black tie, looking a bit like a goof. Behind him on the big screen TV's are Devin Millwood, Shawn Hart, Erik Black, and Brandon Jacobs.)

GREENIE: We got a lot to cover today, I'm joined by Devin Millwood from the EW Torch, Shawn Jessica Hart from far to many leagues to talk about, Erik Black from EPW, and Brandon Jacobs from WFW: NE...Question #1 goes to Mr. Millwood first..."Will Anthology contend for the EPW World Title?"

MILLWOOD: As long as Cruise is their de facto leader, and Stevens is champ: No. (Greenie awards 2 points) Cruise fears Stevens the way Rocky feared Clubber Lang, (Greenie awards 1 point) and unless Cruise and Wells are jogging together on a beach somewhere hugging in the water, Cruise is never gonna face that fear anytime soon. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Brandon, your take!

JACOBS: Copycat, Wells, and Edmunds have a long history together that dates back to the WWL. If they can harness that chemistry together and keep them collectively all on the same page, you could put General Custer in there and he would still lead that group to victory. (Greenie awards 1 point) Cruise has been on a roll lately winning both the WFW World Tag Title and the NEW Televion Title, (Greenie awards 1 point) it is only a matter of time before Stevens loses the title to Cruise. The Empire Pro World Heavyweight Title is his destiny. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Over to Mr. Black!

BLACK: ...huh? Oh right... my bad. Forgot where I was. Cam Cruise, right? Right... RIGHT...
Just to add to Mr. Jacobs' list there... Cruise is also the current EPW International Champion, and, let's not forget, the A1E World Heavyweight Champion. (Greenie awards 1 point) But is HE the guy we should expect to see overcome "TRIPLE X"? Honestly, I don't see it... because, regardless of WHO is at his back, SOMEBODY must ALWAYS be there before he can move forward. (Greenie awards 1 points) He can't succeed on his own, and if you really think the minds--or should I say, the EGOS--of guys like Tact and Edmunds and Wells are going to stay in check while HE gets all the glory... then man, you need to lay off the shwag! (Greenie awards 1 point) In MY humble opinion, the only hope the Anthology had to challenge the EPW World Heavyweight Title was with THAT man! (points to SJH) (Greenie awards 1 point) But now that he's out, well... take that for what it is.

GREENIE: Bring us home SJH...

SJH: Thank you very much, Mr. Black! It seems after all of our in-ring encounters, I've managed to knock some sense into you! I was ABSOLUTELY the SACK that held those Antho-testes together. (Greenie awards 1 point) My whole situation with them just goes to show that they'er whole operation is the epitome of dysfunction. After their intial burst out of the gate, those wankers are fading faster than Scottie Pippen's hair in the 80's! Hell, I'm not even the first nick in their armor! Remember Kin Hiroshi?! (Greenie awards 1 point) Whatever happened to him?! It's like this thing was crumbling before it even reached its apex. HOWEVER - with all that being said, and them being as WACK as they are, EPW's front against them is even WORSE! Despite their endless woes, they've driven 'Nark insane, halted the First in his tracks, and imposed their will onto the entire promotion! (Greenie awards 1 point) So yeah, they're busted... but they still manage to set the pace in Empire. So it's really only a matter of time before they get their hands into the world title picture too!

(Scoreboard Millwood 4, Black 4, SJH 3, Jacobs 3)

GREENIE: OK second question, who's going to challenge JTP for the NFW World Title? SJH you are up.

SJH: Short answer - NO ONE! I have my own sordid history with JTP, but even I have to concede the fact that he's been rocking out with his cockthing out and flushing every turd in his toilet! (Greenie awards 2 points) Ain't NOBODY in NF-Dub makin' that dude sweat. Will he hold the strap forever? No. But when he loses it, it won't be on his challenger's merits - it'll be because he's been SCREWED, set up, sent to rehab, or stricken down by the Lord God himself! (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Erik, what say you?

BLACK: Okay, so get this....We get that plumber guy some boomers, right? Next thing you know, he's jumping down a pipe and fighting turtles and evil fungi to rescue princesses or some shit.(Greenie mutes Black -1 point)

GREENIE: Brandon, give me the good word...

JACOBS: American Panda. Pandas live the life of kings, they eat and sleep. He is going to crunch the Plumber like a piece of bamboo. (Greenie awards 2 points)

GREENIE: Mr. Millwood bats clean up here...

MILLWOOD: Pandas are already an endangered species, and they're gonna get extinct if they come within a hundred yards of JTP's shitter. (Greenie awards 2 points) Honestly, I'm not sure if anyone in NFW's ready for JTP at this point. There are a lot of guys with potential, but who might need a few matches before they're ready. Immediately I'd say Impulse comes to mind as someone who could possibly challenge, and eventually High Flyer's gonna get there. (Greenie awards 1 point) Castor Strife has a lot of physical gifts, but we'll have to see more out of him in singles matches first. Mayfield is a very game veteran, but seeing his first-ballot Hall of Fame chances get shattered by Joe inside of five minutes probably has him apprehensive. (Greenie awards 1 point) The only guy who could immediately threaten Joe's title is Nova, but Nova's gone. It might be six months to a year before we see Joe's true challenger emerge. Until then, Joe's title is safe in Mayfield's hands. Not sure what the hell Mayfield's actually doing with it......maybe shining it, wearing it in front of the mirror...who the hell knows. (Greenie awards 1 point)

(Scoreboard Millwood 9, SJH 6, Jacobs 5, Black 3)

GREENIE: OK, and Mr. Black will on point for question three...Who will be WFW: NE World Champion in 6 months?

BLACK: Man... now THAT'S a tough spliff to choke on...In my heart, I can only see FELIX RED filling those mighty big shoes of being a new generation of wrestling's UNIFIED champion.(Greenie awards 1 point) And I think the reason is because he's practically the ANTI-Champion... a man so immersed in his own universe, that he practically thinks and acts BEYOND the contemporary sport of professional wrestling. (Greenie awards 2 points) Challengers like Tact and the rest of the remnants of L.O.V.E. are all riding high on their reputations as WFW and NEW staples... but I wouldn't be surprised if they all eventually gassed out in the past year. (Greenie awards 2 points)
There's going to be a LOT of competition for that top spot, and I can only see a man with the mentality and goddamn KUNG FU MAGIC of Felix rising above that mayhem. But uh, you'd make a close second, Shawn... (flashes a grin to Hart) (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Impressive commentary from Mr. Black...Brandon you got a tough act to follow...

JACOBS: I think it all depends on who wins the NEW Unification match. (Greenie awards 1 point) Shawn Hart is a former WFW World Heavyweight Champion and many say, either the greatest or second greatest champion we've ever had and I'd be hard pressed to disagree. When he gets the world title in his sights, if he really goes after it, I could see him beating Felix Red. (Greenie awards 2 points) Shawn Hart defeated Manson in a World Title defense in Chicago when everyone said Manson was going to win in his hometown. Felix Red is like the son Manson never had, but can he do what Manson couldn't? (Greenie awards 1 point) I just don't know.

GREENIE: Can Devin keep this thing rolling?

MILLWOOD: Assuming WFW: NE isn't insolvent in 6 months, I'd say Shawn Hart takes it. Felix is a great champion, but he needs to get the fire back in his eyes, the way it was a couple years ago. (Greenie awards 1 point) Hart on the other hand is a guy who's always been very successful, but his greatness is often understated. There's still another level he could take his career to, and I think he knows this. (Greenie awards 1 point) Winning that Unified title would be a great step in that direction, and I've never seen him more motivated in his entire career. Momentum is key, and right now Felix just does not have the type of momentum Shawn does. I've got a Hart-On, apparently...Shawn Hart all the way. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: SJH you're the closer...

SJH: First of all, let me just say how ubtastically magnumerous it is that we're even here talking about WFW:NE. Both these joints had their moment as perhaps the ROCKINGEST thing rollin' around the business before they fell on hard times (Greenie awards 1 point)... so the the fact that they've gone Lazarus on all our asses, combined like Voltron, and REEMERGED with so much fanfare is marvelous like Maggie Gyllenhaal. As far as who the best bet to take the Unified Title is... look no further than the one name that has fallen on the lips of each and every one of my fellow panelists here! Shawn Jessica "Bubbles" Hart! (Greenie awards 1 point) Love me or hate me, I've been top-billin', world-title illin', killin' my comp like penicillin since day one! WFW Champ, NEW Champ... and in a couple'a weeks. UNIFIED WFW:NE Champ!! Can I get a hallelujah?! (Greenie awards 2 points)

(Scoreboard Millwood 12, SJH 10, Jacobs: 9, Black 9)

GREENIE: OK SJH, Buy or Sell Marcus Westscott as #1 contender in EPW.

SJH: Who cares. I'm selling the entire EPW roster as #1 contender. Mark my words, Christian Sands will return from the dead and get himself a title shot before BEASTcott does anything of note. (Greenie awards 2 points) This guy needs to remember who the FUNK he is before he can even DREAM of challenging Stevens.(Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Mr. Millwood, Buy or Sell time

MILLWOOD: Buy. I'm not the biggest Westcott fan in the world, but everyone else at the top of the chain has taken a bad loss or two as of late. (Greenie awards 1 point) Now that's not to say he has a better chance of beating Stevens than say, First or Hart; he doesn't, in my opinion. (Greenie awards 1 point) But if we're talking, statistically, who the number one contender is, well...he beat Anarky for that distinction, who by the way was on a tear before losing to Westcott. (Greenie awards 1 point) On the other hand, First has a recent loss to Cruise, and Hart just lost to First. Anarky's still a player, but he needs another win or two. (Greenie awards 1 point) Say what you want about Westcott, but he's a very game veteran who earned his title shot. Beyond that, if you ask me, I sell him as World Champion, and if he did win it I'd sell any more than a two month title reign. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Jacobs, what say you?

JACOBS: Sell, whether you like him or you don't, Beast made the best case against himself when he said to Wells that he had headlined more events than anyone in Empire and was the most dominant world champion ever. (Greenie awards 1 point) It is time to move Marcus Levesque out for someone new and fresh in the title scene. (Greenie 2 points)

GREENIE: Busting out borinator insults, always good! Mr. Black, finish it up!

BLACK: I'd SELL an eighth of a Westcott-Wowie for no more than twenty bucks. (Greenie awards 1 point) I mean, YEAH, he's a proven main event contender. You put him in the ring against ANYBODY, and he'll put up a tough, competitive match. But man, right now, all eyes are on guys like The First and Cruise. (Greenie awards 1 point) I know it's decriminalized up there past the border, but DAMN, that hammy stink of Canada is getting old. (Greenie awards 2 points)

GREENIE: Hatred of Canada, also awesome!

(Scoreboard Millwood 17 SJH 13 Black 13 Jacobs 12)

GREENIE: OK, let's go to Mr. Millwood for question 5, Buy or Sell Cameron Cruise as A1E World Champion.

MILLWOOD: Sell. Cameron Cruise should have a match with Troy Douglas' apathy to determine the undisputed A1E champion, 'cause we all know why Cruise got the title in the first place. (Greenie awards 1 point) I don't know if Douglas was tired of carrying it around or what, but it won't be a problem for Cruise 'cause he's only renting it. His first title defense was a draw...A DRAW! Who the F[BLEEP] draws on their first defense? Shouldn't that be the guy you steamroll? (Greenie awards 1 point) No, I'm selling that like a Thai pimp sells a kidnapped Russian teen. (Greenie awards 1 point) Cruise won't beat Gilikson, and if somehow he leaves Mercury Rising with the title, he'll just cough it up to the next guy lucky enough to get a title shot at Cameron Cruise. And will SOMEBODY, for the love of God, explain to me the difference between Anthology and the Highland Park Social Club? (Greenie awards 1 point) Is there something in the water that makes people just line up to be Cameron Cruise's man servant?

GREENIE: Jacobs, take it away!

JACOBS: Buy. Say what you will about Cruise, but the main event scene has been rather stale lately with the same people getting pushed over and over again, props to A1E for trying someone new on top. (Greenie awards 1 point) The story of Cameron Cruise is the "Little Engine That Could". (Greenie awards 2 points) He has plugged along for years and through his hard work has finally come over the mountain. It gives inspiration to all the other Cameron Cruises of the world to keep on trying instead of giving up. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Mr. Black you're on the spot now!

BLACK: ...huh? OH DUDE, sorry...Forgot where I was... again. THINKING ABOUT HIM kills braincells... And seeing him as the A1E World Heavyweight Champion? I dunno... given the state of the main event scene there in A1E right now, you'd think it was turning into Bizzarro-Empire Pro. (Greenie awards 1 point) It all goes back to what I said, and even what Millwood here said about there being practically no difference between the Anthology and the Highland Park Social Club (Greenie awards 1 point) without that posse to back him up, Cameron Cruise can't stand on his own two feet. Regardless of whether or not he does it on his own, the fact that he NEEDS them on his side just goes to show you how insecure he is. (Greenie awards 2 points) SELL THAT SHWAG.

SJH: Oy.... it KILLS me to do it, but how can I NOT buy?! Bumbling though he may be, the steak n' eggs of the situation is that the Booze Cruise currently holds not one, but FIVE titles!! (Greenie awards 2 pointds) He's the A1 Champ, the Empire Pro Intercontinental Champ, the CSWA Presidential Champ, the WFW:NE Television Champ, and one half of the WFW Tag Team Champs! (Greenie awards 1 point) I mean, I've always said that this joker gets by on sheer luck like half of the time, but even by that math, he's won 2 and a half titles on pure, unbridled talent!! (Greenie awards 1 point) Don't get me wrong, his ass face will inevitably be WIPED from the forefront of the industry, but for now... give the dog his due.

(Scoreboard Millwood 21 SJH 17 Black 17 Jacobs 16)

GREENIE: And SJH kicks off question 6...Buy or Sell Impulse as NFW TV Champion.

SJH: Buy... and I'm sickened and enraged and SICKENED WITH RAGE that you're wasting our time with softball questions!! When are we gonna get back on task and talk about something people care about, something SEXY, something SJH! My Hart-broken Phenom Fiends DEMAND (Greenie mutes SJH -1 point)

GREENIE: Mr. Black get us back on track.

BLACK: I'm kinda with Shawn on that one, but hey, let's talk Impulse...
Rocko The Otter This is the same guy that said in one of his promos that the ALTAR that is SLEEP is nothing more than a Black Sabbath cover band. Being the forefront stoner rock expert of professional wrestling, I can say with all honesty that saying something like that is downright BLASPHEMY, not to mention wholly untrue.
Yeah, Impulse has his mystique thing, and he's got some chops in the ring, and he's put a nice shiny belt with a lot of prestige around his waist in short time... but the way I see it, if he's got these simple facts in his head mixed up... what ELSE is he wrong about?
Or does he just make stupid assumptions on EVERYTHING?? (Greenies awards 1 point) I really don't know...I just know that sooner or later, being WRONG will bite you in the ass. SELL IT. And pinch a nug out of the bag, while you're at it.

GREENIE: Don't know that we really got in track there...But let's try Mr. Jacobs.

JACOBS: Buy, who am I to doubt Castor Strife's hardon? (Greenie awards 1 point) But seriously, he seems fine. There is nothing particularly wrong with him, he says the right things. I don't know if I like his ring name and I'd definitely like him to show some more personality. I'd like him to show some fire. (Greenie awards 1 point) Right now he is sort of like Data from the early seasons of Star Trek the Next Generation.

MILLWOOD: I thought the question was about Impulse? All I heard was something about Black Sabbath, Castor Strife's hard-on, and the black dude from Star Trek. Anyway, I'm going to buy. You wouldn't know it by listening to this panel, but Impulse is one of maybe three or four rising stars who are going to bring this industry to the next level. (Greenie awards 1 point) Technically, he's as sound as anyone. Outside the ring, his appeal is that he's NOT flashy. He's a regular dude with problems the same as anyone else, except I don't think I've ever been stalked by another man. (Greenie awards 2 points) Anyway, people like to see themselves in their heroes; the days of the Wunder God destroying all comers in his path as he fights for truth, justice, and the American way are over. (Greenie awards 1 point) It was an unattainable image, and I think in some ways we've even moved past the anti-hero. People want the anti-celebrity, and that's what Impulse is. (Greenie awards 1 point) Not to mention he's kicking dude's asses and will probably be a World Champion before it's all over.

(Scoreboard Millwood 26, Black 18, Jacobs 18, SJH 16)

GREENIE: And with that we gotta make the painful first cut...And so leaving our show is The Phenom SJH...Any final thoughts?

SJH: Vote for me in Russel David's VS. Tournament!! Dubbya-dubbya-dub dot EWTORCH dot (Greenie mutes him, his screen greys out)

GREENIE: So ends the man known as SJH. Then there were three...On to you Mr. Black...It's time for Out of Bounds...The big question...Is TEAM out of Steam?

BLACK: Man, I love TEAM, and I love everything it represents...And that's why it KILLS me to have to say YES, the federation IS running out of steam. (Greenie awards 1 point) Everybody had high hopes when they learned Troy Douglas would be taking the reigns from Jess Chapel when he got hit by hard financial times and was forced to bow out, but the harsh truth of the matter is that the TEAM machine was already beginning to slow by that point. Since ownership changed hands, we've languished through another Invitational Tournament bogged down by delays and no communication from the top... every year (Greenie awards 1 point) , they get the same controversial backlash from the internet wrestling community, (Greenie awards 1 point) and we see someone new taking the top place. TEAM's long-standing problem is that it's never had solid faces; every year, somebody would step up above the rest of the pack. Then they'd fade away over time, and as a result, TEAM didn't really know how to connect with its fans and keep them coming back. (Greenie awards 1 point) I wasn't too surprised to see Douglas drag it down even further, given how sketchy he is in his professional record. The man might want to be the next Dan Ryan, as in a successful wrestler turned successful businessman, but some people just don't have the mind for managing an entire federation...ESPECIALLY one with the prestige and expanse as TEAM. In the end, (Greenie awards 2 points) TEAM was like a nice, sweet bong hit...It damn well blew our HEADS OFF after that first drag... But when it started burning out, well... it just left us all with a bad taste in the mouth. (Greenie awards 1 point)

GREENIE: Over to you Mr. Jacobs for your take.

JACOBS: The jury is still out on TEAM, Douglas needs to take the league and shape it into his own. (Greenie awards 2 points) While the TEAM name may have brought people to the dance, to excel, you need to do your own thing instead of being beholden to the past. (Greenie awards 1 point) Conan O'Brien didn't try to be Letterman when he took over The Late Show. He took on that franchise and now that ginger haired boy is the host of the Tonight Show. (Greenie awards 2 points)

MILLWOOD: You know what the real tragedy of TEAM is? The workers never stopped putting out effort. It didn't HAVE TO run out of steam, but damn did it ever. (Greenie awards 1 point) There are some elements which were in place before Troy Douglas arrived that need to change, but I'd say it's time for Mr. Douglas to bow out gracefully. We all wanted to give him the benefit after the first couple of delays, but by now his slack has run out. (Greenie awards 1 point) The guy has been a disaster, period. Getting the shows running on time should be the EASIEST part of running TEAM. I always thought that motivating the talent, fixing some of the league's structural problems, etc, would be the difficult part of running this shindig, but apparently Troy Douglas managed to screw up the easy part. Bottom line: if TEAM were run by someone as motivated as the talent is, it would be a success. (Greenie awards 2 points)

GREENIE: And with that, we say goodbye to Mr. Jacobs (Greenie hits the button, greying out Jacobs screen)

(Showdown graphics, music)

GREENIE: Two men enter, one man wins the first ever Pillar to Post...Question 1 to Mr. Millwood, who wins a match between JTP and Sean Stevens?

MILLWOOD: No disrespect to Stevens, he's a beast, but I have to go with JTP. Right now, he's the number one pound for pounder in professional wrestling. I don't mean to sound like Craig Miles' mouthpiece, but Stevens was in NFW once upon a time and left with mixed results. JTP also owns recent wins over Kin Hiroshi and Nova, two men who I think are superior to anyone Stevens has faced as of late; JA isn't Nova on his best day, and Rocko Daymon hasn't been himself since returning. I don't care what the Wrestling Rag's rankings say; you know and I know that Stevens shouldn't be ranked ahead of JTP. They've got High Flyer at the 2 spot; Flyer's in NFW, and JTP would murder-death-kill him. JTP would send Level One to Basement Level 4b.

BLACK: Wow... JTP and "Triple X" Sean Stevens...I mean, you couldn't find another pair of EXACT opposites to put face to face. I mean, everybody knows the kind of man Stevens is: high-ridin', wheelin'-and-dealin', blah-blitty-doo-dah what have you... and Joe, well... I mean, come on, he's a PLUMBER!! And it's very likely that JTP may not even be of this world, but if you ask me... I think that's all he'll EVER be, is an exception that stepped up and proved himself over an entire wrestling community. He's set his name in stone for this time and place. But Sean Stevens... it's ALWAYS HIS time and HIS place. I don't care WHO you are. Just to refute some of Mr. Millwood's points... yeah, Stevens didn't last very long in NFW, for the same reason why some of the BEST names have never set FOOT in that federation: they just aren't comfortable with the way things are run there. People see JTP as the champion, and they think "Whiskey Tango Foxtrot? What kind of CIRCUS are they running there to put a PLUMBER as champ?" As for, what... some guy named High Flyer being number two on some rankings sheet? That's a moot point. I bet I couldn't recall half the names I read off that list, and I have no idea where they get their data. But saying JTP's got credentials just because he beat KIN HIROSHI?! I mean, come on... if we're talking about leaving a federation with mixed results, then THERE'S the one guy I think of when you say that. I'll say that Joe the Plumber is an amazing talent, and could kick practically 99% of all the talent in today's industry... but "Triple X" Sean Stevens has been doing that HIS ENTIRE CAREER. Maybe JTP fell into some radioactive disinfectant goop while scrubbing toilets one day that gave him superpowers... he MIGHT have a chance then. Otherwise, sorry man... "Triple X" Sean Stevens is the KRYPTONITE! The GREEN DREAM! The MAUI WOWIE! And forever the sure bet.

GREENIE: It's close here, but who says a plumber can't be a world champion, Point Millwood! Black, your back is against the ropes, Question 2, Who wins FMLL Vs LVW!

BLACK: ...OH MAN. I just got this WILD mental image of that going down...With bowlers and surfers and Vikings tossing a bunch of midget luchadores around the ring...Complete and utter pandemonium. But who would win? Well, I'd say the strength in talent lies in Las Vegas. You've got some TOP contenders there, and they're all proven entertainers. But let's think about logically... everybody in LVW HATES each other. They couldn't POSSIBLY coexist on the same side, let alone in a league brawl against the luchadores. The talent from FMLL, on the other hand... almost EVERY SHOW, those guys are teaming up with each other. They know A LOT about team work, and what it means to unite forces against a common enemy. The Las Vegas wrecking crew can win MATCHES, but the luchadores... they win the ALL-OUT WARS. I give it to FMLL.

GREENIE: Devin with a chance to close it out, give it a go Mr. Millwood!

MILLWOOD: Umm...it's a well-known fact that Mexicans will work harder and for peanuts, so I'm thinking FMLL would get more bang for their buck. However, the boys in Vegas aren't exactly living on prime rib and caviar, either. My answer is: ask me after I've seen an FMLL show.

GREENIE: Black carries that one, only because I want to see a interfed brawl...Point to Black! Now then, the tie breaker...We will hopefully crowd a TiT Champion at some point...Who will it be? Mr. Black you're leading off.

BLACK: Well for once, I'm happy to say that there's a TiT with a couple of PAST winners involved! And if you look at the tournament in a historical aspect... that kind of experience has ALWAYS come out in someone's favor. I could easily see Nova and "The Eggo Mustard" making it to the finals... a great clash of past TiT winners. This is, of course, assuming that there won't be any more tournaments following this one... cause at the rate TEAM's going, I honestly don't expect there to be any. So the perfect send-off would be THESE two... bar none, THE most decorated individuals to ever walk into TEAM, and that's not even including their accomplishments in OTHER federations. But who wins? I'll go with Meathead on that one. I don't think it's any coincidence that Dan Ryan just waltzed right out of retirement and started kicking ass left and right again. He's back with a purpose, and he KNOWS he can get it. I didn't see focus and commitment like that since Randalls in the previous tournament, who went on to win the whole damn thing, because he knew from the very onset that he could and WOULD do it. "The Lego Bluster" Dan Ryan wins the 2009--and likely FINAL--TEAM Invitational Tournament, and, having once again proven that he IS a professional wrestling legend, I'd expect he'd quietly bow out of the sport again until another 40 virgins are sacrificed upon the Altar of RYAN.

GREENIE: Millwood with the match on the line!

MILLWOOD: Hey, if TiT actually gets to the point of commencement, WE ALL WIN. I'm picking Doc Silver, assuming he's not in a wheelchair living off Social Security by the time we get to the finals. Ryan's a legend, Nova's a legend, but you know what? Doc was a legend long before anyone even heard of these guys. If you look back at his career, he's got amazing luck in tournaments. The dude won Ultratitle as a rookie, for God's sake. The thing about Doc is, he doesn't even need to be good, he just needs to be smart. When has he ever walked in the ring and just plain kicked ass? My five year old cousin's made Doc bleed...I could make Doc bleed. Doc is not the Anderson Silva of pro-wrestling, and he's not a wrecking machine ala Dan Ryan. He is, though, an extremely wiley veteran who knows how to win, and he's been showing the world again why at the end of the day...somehow, someway...Doc wins.

GREENIE: Shameless promotion of Doc carries the day! Point and match Millwood. Face time for the EWTorch reporter!

(Black looks horrified, his screen greys out, the picture cuts to a full screen shot of Millwood)

MILLWOOD: You know, I was watching Wizard of Oz last night, and it got me thinking: how: Dorothy was a naive little cocktease. You've got this chick in a dress and pigtails waltzing through some magical forrest with three dudes...and you're telling me she DIDN'T get raped? OK maybe Scarecrow's an upstanding citizen and the Tinman couldn't get it up, but the Cowardly Lion was an animal! Why wouldn't an animal just take the sex by force? He could have easily beasted her in the woods when the other two weren't looking. Initially I thought they slipped her a roofie when she passed out in the field, but then the rest of them went to sleep also. In fact, now that I think about it, didn't she wake up at the end with three men at her bedside who looked like her dream sequence companions? It's obvious: they slipped her a roofie, and she went into this weird trip where she imagined her attackers to be fantastical creatures escorting her on a magical voyage through a kingdom of midgets. All this, as they raped her. Sorry, but it's true. I know, it sounds more like an NFW programming...but it's true.

GREENIE: You've just ruined a timeless classic...Well you or Tim Burton...Well we'll be back next time, with more hard hitting topics...See you all then for more Pillar to Post!

(All 4 screens turn back on and all 4 pundits begin shouting and talking over each other as Greenie looks on horrified...FADEOUT)

Heels

2009-08-12T14:27:00.000-07:00

I've been reading the face/heel discussions on the forums of ewtorch.com and I was thinking about what everyone was saying. And while everyone had good points, I think one major thing has been overlooked. Today I'll talk about heels.

The key for a heel to be a heel is that the character has to have a reason to hate the crowd. It's one thing to hate a face and have a personal issue with them, and for you to be seen as being 'in the wrong' in the eyes of the masses, but that feud will end, and after it's all said and done, you need to have more then just that, you need to have a justification for why the crowd is beneath you, why you willingly embrace their scorn and hatred. You have to be able to answer the question "Why is this guy such a dick". A heel has to have a reason to think he's 'above' or 'better' then the crowd. Cause people on the whole, want to be cheered, why does your character not want that? Why does he embrace being hated?

You have the rich heel, who's a success, and he looks down on you cause you're not. He's better then you because he made it and you're just a peon. The crowd hates the guy because he is dismissive, aloof, insulting. Currently "Triple X" Sean Stevens is that kind of a heel, with his custom made suits, 5 figure sunglasses, and all the rest.

You have the scumbag heel who offends people because he has no morals, no sense of honor, and yet he flips that around, he credits his depraved outlook on life as being what makes him a winner, and the fans who are bound to their foolish idealism about good and evil, they are wrong, and the results of the heel prove he's right. The crowd hates them because they are cowards, who are not shamed by the levels they stoop to win. Doc Silver was this kind of heel.

Finally there are the moral scolds, who declare that their way of life is superior then the crowd's. The crowd hates these people because they talk down to them, insulting their lifestyle and degrading the choices they've made in life. Born Again in LVW is one of these heels. CM Punk replaces religion with the Straight Edge lifestyle on Smackdown for this gimmick.

Smarks tend to gravitate towards heels instead of faces, but don't let that natural bias cloud your mindset, as I said in my post before, most people treat the non-existent crowds in E-Fedding like an on/off switch and you just set your character to 'Heel' and he's boo'ed out of the arena every night. But why? What makes the crowd hate him so much? Justify your heat and it'll make your character easier to write and develop.

Now get out there and piss some people off.

What-If Booking part 1

2009-08-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

This is a new segment I'll be writing now and again, it's kind of like the comics where they alter an event in the past to see what the future would be like with said altering having happened.

Today's What-if, what if Sean Stevens had beaten JA at Agg 43?

At Agg 43, JA basically beat Stevens silly, had him pinned for a 10 count, and Stevens walked away from the match, losing by count-out, then Rocko Daymon appeared out of nowhere and a giant fight broke out between the three men leading to the main event at Wrestleverse where Stevens retained by winning clean over JA at the end of the elimination match.

But let's say Stevens beat JA clean at Agg 43...What happens then? Wrestleverse III was a sort of "Enemies of the past confront Stevens" feel to it...With JA gone, does Rocko coming back merit a straight up title match between the two?

I'd say no, but Rocko still has to be invovled in the main event scene. So let's go back to the start of Agg 43. The First came out and wanted a re-match with Stevens because First kicked Stevens ass at Agg 42. Then Cameron Cruise, who just won the IC Title at Agg 42, comes out and tells First to drop dead, that he should get a world title shot. Then Cruise and Jared Wells beat The First up.

So the Wrestleverse main event gets rebooked as Cameron Cruise Vs The First Vs Sean Stevens in an elimination match for the EPW World Title, with special guest ref Rocko Daymon. The match progresses for a while, until First has Cruise and Stevens down, but then Copycat runs out as a distraction, and First ends up getting pinned by Cruise. Now we're down to Stevens Vs Cruise, with Stevens and Rocko's issues boiling over, till finally they go to blows and then Cruise swoops in for a roll up and gets an assist from a fast count from Daymon to steal the World Title.

Anthology now stands on top of the mountain as Cruise is World Champion, building towards his match with Marcus Westscott at the next PPV, Rocko Daymon and Sean Stevens have to settle their issues in some brutal stipulation match. Copycat and The First roll through their brackets in the tournament for the vacant IC Title and are set to meet in the finals to crown the new champion. Stalker and Fusenhoff are dragged into the Anti-Anthology war as they chase Tact and Wells tag titles...

I think this all could have happened if one match had gone another way. Does it sound plausable, to outlandish? Let me know.

A quick thing about A1E

2009-08-08T12:12:00.000-07:00

I'm glad Jarrett and the BC let me back in the league, I know everyone was given a heads up about what a jerk I was years ago, and I accept full blame for all of it, I vote rigged, I was a piece of shit. That's about all there is to it. I'm joined A1E because Billy said he was bringing in Castor and so I decided that I might as well hang out with him there. I wish I had a bigger, grander speech about this, but I don't. So thanks to A1E for letting me be back and I'll not cause problems.

NOTE: I'm so tired I nearly posted this as "A quick thing about A1W". Man that would have been awful.

FINAL NOTE: A1E taking me back means I'll be back in CSWA in about 2 years time...Which may or may not be when their next card is.

Around The Horn Talent Needed

2009-08-06T21:34:00.000-07:00

I want to run a monthly "Around The Horn" style column/blog post/whatever. Either on the blog or on EWtorch. If you've never seen Around The Horn, it's 4 people arguing the events of the day with a moderator scoring them based on how well they argue.

The first show would be EPW/NFW/A1E centric, as time moves on, I'd try to get more in tune with the PTC and PRIME stuff so we can have shows on them.

I'd like to do the show in a live chat, which is always tough getting 5 people's schedules cleared for a night, but if it's at all possible, I'd like to do that, failing that we can play E-mail tag with the questions and answers and then have the moderator score the comments.

So if you are interested, either IM me (War on Eurasia) PM me (The Great Eye) or reply here, let me know what character you're using and what days you're free for a chat session, and if you want to be a pundit or the scorer.

Current talent

Shawn Hart
Devin Millwood
Green Machine (Pundit/Scorer depending on what we get.)

EPW Roster Face/Heel

2009-08-03T22:38:00.000-07:00

After my failed attempt at getting questions, back to the Face/Heel topic...Billy had two good posts on ewtorch about this, hunt down that site and check it out.

Group 1- Babyfaces

The First
Shawn Hart
Olvir Arsvinnar

What a mixed bag we got here. Shawn Hart just face turned and he's a wacky, silly guy. He's off beat and lives for hi-jinx and crazyness. The Hart character is like Chris Jericho/Edge when they were silly, light hearted faces.

Olvir's just a crazy cartoon character, the larger then life giant who's going to kick ass and then drag a girl out of the crowd and have his way with her. He's campy, and over-the-top. He's like Val Venis but instead of trying to be cool about it, he embraces his outlandishness.

The First is funny to me, because I feel like he sort of can't believe how over he is, so really he doesn't know exactly how to play the part of being a big time face. He knows who he is (Or at least who he believes himself to be) but for the first time he's kind of out of his element, he'll shake hands and kiss babies, cause that's what faces do, right? Right?

Group 2 anti heros

Fusenhoff
Rocko Daymon

Fusenhoff has taken a turn for the worse in his 'enslavement' to Stalker. But he's still a guy supported by the crowd in spite of his bleak outlook on the world.

Daymon is also one who's gotten darker and more grim, but he's still a sympathetic character who the masses support.

Group 3 Tweeners leaning face

Anarky
Marcus Westscott

Anarky and Westscott both fall into this catagory because they are fighting with Anthology (And in Westscott's case, Stevens also) , the heel monolith of EPW. Fighting them pretty much makes their opponent a face by default, not that either of these guys give a damn about the crowd.

Group 4 Badass heels

Sean Stevens
Layne Winters

Stevens lays down challenges and won Wrestleverse III clean...Then after Wrestleverse he even tagged with The First to beat up Anthology. Thankfully he heeled it up a bit in that match or rlse he'd have started treading towards faceland...That and the fact that on the last card he got his team DQ'ed and fought with Westscott keep him solidly a heel.

Winters had been caught in the pull of the Anthology monolith, but with his backstage confrontations with The First and taking the EPW TV Title off Fusenhoff, Winters is clearly a heel.

Group 5 Chickenshit Heels

Anthology
Stalker

Anthology are clearly the group with the most impact on EPW, they pretty much force anyone who fights them for any prolonged period of time to become a face of some kind. They cheat, are dirtbags and scum, and generally do just about anything a gang of cowardly thugs should do to gain power.

Stalker is an absolute scumbag, he cost Rocko Daymon the World Title by injury, he enslaved Fusenhoff, he's a henchman for Sean Stevens when it's needed. And when it came time for him to get his just due from Daymon, he hid behind a restraining order...Stalker may be the most horrible person in EPW and that's saying something.

Anyone got a question?

2009-07-31T01:33:00.000-07:00

Since the Gut Reaction thread was full of people demanding updates, and I did get a good amount of feedback on the last post I did. I figured I'd leave my next topic open to you guys. Otherwise we're gonna be getting into my review of the 40 acts that will be going to the live shows on America's Got Talent (I can't believe they cut the the lady with the cleft pallet and the 8 year old girl, and the cool magician all without a second thought, didn't see that coming at all.)

Save yourself with AGT and The Hoff! Lemme know what to talk about!

So since I am the 'nuts and bolts' blog. lemme come up with a few topics off the top of my head

1) Booking

2) Character development

3) Promo Writing

4) Angles

5) Match Writing

What of those topics should I get into? Or do you have a specific question on any of them, ask away.

Crowd heat Fluid Vs Static

2009-07-25T14:01:00.000-07:00

While I was writing my 2nd promo in the First/Winters match I was thinking to myself about the nature of crowd heat in E-Fedding and how a character reacts to it, I also thought about the nature of face Vs heel in general.

Right now the main event for the next EPW PPV is going to be Marcus Westscott Vs Sean Stevens. Both men are listed as heels, yet why is Marcus Westscott a heel currently in EPW?

Here's a list of things that have happened to Westscott over the course of his run that has led to his title shot.

-Sold out by Craig Miles at Unleashed and forced to fight The Forsaken by himself. A match he lost when The First (a tweener/face at this time) cheated by spraying mist in his eyes leading to a double team and a finish.

-Had Miles degrade him and force him to abandon the Beast ringname and not make Lindsay Troy jokes to get his hands on Miles.

-Backstabbed by Anarky in a tag match and left to be mauled by Stalker/Fusenhoff.

-Laid out in the backstage area by an unknown attacker(s), thought to be Anthology.

-Is currently main eventing Aggression fighting a member of Anthology, the hated heel stable of EPW.

And he's a heel? I mean my lord, what did this man do to the crowd, run over everyone's dog? Sleep with everyone's sister? I mean, the guy can't catch a break. If I end up writing the main event of the show I'd be likely to give Westscott a little face heat from the crowd, maybe it a bit of a tweener reaction, because he's done nothing but fight a rogue gallery of scum and villany this whole time and he's still standing, the marks have to respect that.

I'm not saying Westscott should act like a face or embrace the fans, far from it. He's a guy who's been over for being who he is and suddenly shaking hands and kissing babies is not at all in character for him, I just think that the masses want somebody to root for in all these fights, and Westscott would be the one who they would get behind.

On the last EPW card, I had Anarky get some face heat in his match with Larry Tact. This is because Anarky was doing a heroic thing, entering battle in spite of being injured (And currently bleeding) and fighting a member of Anthology. How is the crowd not going to think that's bad ass?

I know a lot of people want to be the biggest heel on the block, but sometimes you just have to accept that there's no way you're going to outheel the other guy. It might even be for good reasons.

Let's take Sean Stevens Vs Cameron Cruise, who's the face there? Has to be Stevens, he won Wrestleverse III's main event clean, he's laying down challenges, he's the badass. Cruise is the (de facto) leader of Anthology, he won his match at Wrestleverse III via run-in. Cruise is the chickenshit heel. Hell Stevens wanted to fight Cruise so badly he tagged with a sworn enemy (and face) The First to do so. The crowd is going to gravitate towards the bad ass shitkicker and want to see the cheating bastard get his. This could even be brought up in the commentary that it kind of throws Stevens off that somebody's more hated then him. He's accustomed to being the bad guy and now he's not...

Again, I'm not saying that the character should Rp differently, unless the handler decides they want to. I'm just saying that in a lot of situations I feel match writers/handlers/fed-heads just are lazy and have a switch reading "face/heel" and once it's set one way, unless the handler declares he's going to turn the switch the other way, then they stay on the side they are on. I'm guilty of it myself and I'm going to stop doing that in the matches I write.

So when you're writing a match and you are stuck with the dreaded Heel/Heel match up, review both guy's previous matches, read the promos, do a little research and pick somebody to get a little face heat, fans aren't there just to watch villians fight each other, they want investment in the match, and the sold out crowds (It's always a sell out! I'd love a league that hit a rough patch and brought up that sections of the arena were covered or that they papered the hell out of the place to make it look sold out.) of our leagues deserve that, so give it to them.

Love for the little guy

2009-07-21T16:16:00.000-07:00

A trend I've noticed in E-Fedding is that newest characters people make tend to be smaller. I think this is because as we've grown up around the business of wrestling, we made 'stat monster' characters in our mark days. We all got a kick out of the 7'4" guys hitting shooting star presses (and they did exist) but on the whole, a lot of old school guys are big.

I think the new crop of smaller guys has come along as we've moved from being marks who wee fans of monsters, and became smarks who are fans of workrate. Nobody's blown away by Mark Henry's workrate, so giant monsters like him aren't seen a lot on the forums.

Like Anthology is a bunch of old school characters...Cameron Cruise (6'4" 263 lbs.) Jared Wells (6'1" 254) Larry Tact (6'6" 260) Copycat (6'4" 280) their newest member, Sean Edmunds, is the runt of the litter (6' 228)

I never really thought of Cruise as a big guy till I read his stats, and I was like "Wow, he's a big guy". Reading the First/Cruise match over I never got the sense that The First was really facing a big guy, in the tag match with Copycat/Cruise...It was made clear that Copycat was ragdolling The First, and he should be, he's a big guy, nearly a monster heel, and The First is a tiny, high flying face.

Currently three of the most over guys I can think of on the forums (If I'm allowed to use one of my own characters in a gross showing of self promotion) are Impluse, The First, and Ice Tre, who are all listed at under 200 pounds on their bios, I really doubt this would have happened back in the old school P* days when people wanted to powerbomb you through the mat and didn't really care if being 250+ meant you shouldn't be hitting shooting star presses. Heck Shane Southern who was a HBK knock off was 6'4".

When you're writing a match it's important to look at the bios and see what the two guys measure up as, because you should play up a size mis-match between two people. Most of the boards know about MMA or Boxing and understand weight classes and two guys 30 pounds apart is a big deal. Of course by that same token you have to sell the little guy's comeback by talking up his speed advantage, the nature of his offense, etc. Bring up the fact that the big guy has to carry around all that weight so he could gas out later in the fight.

Odds are I'll be writing the Layne Winters/The First TV Title match in EPW...Besides just BURYING Winters and putting myself sick over (That's rule #1 when you write your own matches, never forget that.) and one of the things I'd bring up in that match is that Winters has fought Olvir (A absolute MONSTER at 6'7" 317) and Fusenhoff (checking in at a meager 6'3" 263) and has gone from being the smaller man in both matches (If only by 13 pounds Vs Fuse) to now being the much bigger man Vs The First, and how that'll change his tactics and game plan now that he finally enters into a battle as the larger fighter.

Billy talked a lot about this with his writing of the Castor/PC Vs Black/Impluse match, and how he wanted to get over that Castor is much bigger then Impulse, and he should, that's part of both characters. If you make up a character that's under 200 pounds, you have to expect him to get the shit beaten out of him. I'd be a moron if I thought The First was gonna steamroll people, and I'm sure Pete Russo knows the same thing with Impulse.

The move towards smaller guys, while people still have their older bigger characters is interesting, and if Ryan's lucha league ever has any of it's guys move to the "American" leagues, that influence would be even bigger. Not that all new characters are smaller, but I believe the trend is moving that way. So don't fear the 200 pound line, embrace it, enjoy watching your character being stuck like a tack...It's not so bad, really...

Winning a title: The Job Interview

2009-07-19T11:34:00.000-07:00

Our forums are ever a source of drama. If E-Fedding drama could be turned into a form of energy, we would be free of the grip of foreign oil. One such bit of drama came from the handler of Frankie Scott, who has unfortunately left the game. On his way out he said he'd fought for the EPW World TV Title twice and felt like he'd done a good enough job in Rp to win the title. Rp is subjective, and it's really hard to judge one's own matches, unless your me, in which case I haven't been out Rp'ed in over a decade and every loss I've suffered is because the booker couldn't understand how brilliant I am. (Sarcasm alert)

So anyhow, let's say you're just about anyone at all in this game, and you're gunning for a title. What is the keys to winning a title?

1. Being Consistant

You get hired for a job because people expect you to show up and do the work. That's pretty straight forward, but it's still important, you have to have been on the last few shows, Rp'ing your matches, signing up for matches, and if you can write a match or two, all the better. Put in work.

2. Networking

It's really important to make friends and build relationships in this hobby. Everything here is political, everything here is based off trust. A fed-head who knows you only as "He's the handler of wrestler X" isn't as likely to put you over as one who hears from you, gets input on your ideas and thoughts. By that same token, it's hard to work a feud with somebody over a belt if the person you're feuding with doesn't know you except as "His opponent". It's hard to get yourself into those spots. You have to find people and talk to them, pitch ideas to them, discuss plans, work angles. Anthology didn't happen because Brunk said "You guys, you're now a stable". No Siegel, Clark, Pena et. all had an idea and made it happen.

3. Storylines

You want to be in the mix of a storyline, this may be more important then the other two, period. Double so if the title you are going for is a major one that's normally tied up to important storylines that are effecting the whole company. Let's take the First/Stevens match for an example. It's a crazy open challenge from a tag wrestler against the World Champ, my odds of winning the title there were very low, but what the match did do for The First's career is get him starting into a storyline with Stevens and has put him in the main event a time or two.

Losing to a champion can be the key to winning a title or getting a push, so if you do fail to win the title, try to figure out the reasons why. Get feedback from the fed-head about why he made the decision as he did. Learn from it and try to come back with better reasons for you to get the title next time.

Agg 45 recappery

2009-07-18T21:16:00.000-07:00

The first two matches of this show are hurt by the fact that Contradiction doesn't have a bio posted. Billy and I did two different fake outs (Starting with them in the ring, having Sarge attack Scott) to get the matches started.

Jungle Storm with a screwjob win to kick off the show. Billy's various and sundry take-offs from Brazil's vast MMA army seem to be a force to be reckoned with in EPW's tag team division. Billy wrote a good match here and continues the story of Jungle Storm's infighting.

Scott/Sarge I wrote, it was kind of short, mostly because I was given the match late and wanted to get it done, amazingly enough once I got it done, apparently the card in total finished itself and went up. So I guess my decision to just get this thing done worked out well. A nice farewell for Scott and a win for Sarge, depends on if he wants to stay tagging or go singles.

Up Next is more Winters/First arguing. Winters upping the stakes on himself for the TV Title match, almost promising a win.

I like how the restraining order angle got retained and all the crazyness that happened with Stalker/Ivan/Black/Rocko/Fuse. A well thought out match, with Stalker getting a win, and now Fusenhoff gets busted open badly, a bad omen for his TV Title match.

Anarky found dead...Poor Anarky...Boo people who killed him...

First/Hart up next with a match that's pretty much secondary to the storyline events that go after it. First wins after Anthology doesn't show up to aid Hart, Hart thusly disgusted by the fact that Anthology isn't helping him, quits Anthology.

Tact Vs Anarky...Anarky survives his death, and then decides that doing so sucked and kills himself and Tact...I think I wrote a solid, bloody, brutal match.

Winters/Fuse then blows the roof off the joint for match of the night, big time back and forth as both men land everything they got and then some, with Fusenhoff finally done in by the long bout and his earlier injury, allowing Winters a victory with the Green River Justice. Fuse now has a big bone to pick with Daymon, for the chair shot that may have cost him the title, and Winters of course, for taking the title.

The main event was kind of a mess, given the various and sundry people who didn't Rp. A DQ finish was kind of dissapointing but in such a situation one can expect it. I tried to get Edmunds as over as I could in the match since he did 2 Rp's for the show and put in the work.

As I said in the quick recap, this was a big storyline show, Winters win the TV Title, Hart quits Anthology, Anarky is the latest victim of an attack, and then loses his mind. The start of issues between Westscott and Stevens...I think these next two shows should be an excellent build up to the PPV.

My only bone of contention with the whole show is that Brunk edited the word 'gi' to 'G.I.' in The First's two intros...It's gi pants, like a karate gi. Not military pants.

Tag Teams and Stables

2009-07-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

I've been reading the posts for the FW Gut Reactions thread and people want more updates. Well I'll give it a whirl.

There were 2 questions on the list about stables and tag teams, I gave a quick answer there and well, I want to try a bigger answer here.

You can have three kinds of stables, a stable that's put together around a gimmick (The Nation of Domination) you can have a mega stable that's going to try to take over (DX, nWo, Horsemen) or you can have one of many short lived counter stables that formed in reaction to those other stables.

I think all three stables are cool, the big difference between real wrestling and E-Fedding is that we're not all here for a paycheck, the reasoning for why your character is in the stable should be made clear. Sometimes the reason for being in a stable isn't really awesome for your character, in the sense that they are a flunkie/tag-a-long, but you might as well roll with it and explain why your guy is doing that.

My major issue with Anthology is that they aren't going after the World Title. I know Siegel had his reasons for not fighting Stevens at Agg 44, and that's cool, but I felt like Anthology was a big time player leading up to Wrestleverse. I wouldn't have been the least bit shocked if the main event of Wrestleverse had had Cruise in that three way instead of JA or Rocko. He'd just won the IC Title, he's now on a roll, I could have seen him being put in the main event.

I feel like if not Cruise, then somebody in Anthology should step up and let Stevens know his time with the belt is running out, he might not even make it to Westscott. Etc etc. Anthology's now been in back to back main events on Agg's and Stevens has been in both, there's no reason for them not to break out the knives for the champ.

(Note: All of the above was in no way, shape, or form designed to turn Anthology's baleful gaze from The First to Stevens, feel free to keep attacking The First!)

As for tag teams, I think the best thing is to do a joint tag team with somebody who you get along with. I love joint promos, I had tons of fun writing them with Felix Red (Barry T.) I mean he's a great handler and for whatever reason he was cool just being in the tag division for a year.

The thing with writing joint Rp's and working with other people is that it forces you to react while in character, really gets you into the mind-set of the gimmick you're Rp'ing, and for me with The First, it was interesting because Felix is so damn insane he makes The First look normal by comparison, I had to play straight man to Felix's madness a lot of the time and just react to what he was doing. It also leads to the two of you doing stuff that moves your character out of their comfort zone and gets you trying to figure out how to roleplay in those situations.

The year and change The First was with Felix Red really let me refine the character and work out whatever the hell it was in my mind that I was trying to do with him, and since I was a tag champ and winning matches, it was getting First over at least in the sense that he was a successful tag wrestler. I don't think I could have spent a year working on the character while he was going .500 or so on the mid-card as a solo act.

So while I think a fully made tag team Rp'ed by one person is good and there's no reason not to do them, I believe that the best way for somebody to build a character is with somebody else in their team.

I want to see Wells/Tact joint promos...My biggest dissapointment with Agg 44 was that I didn't get to write a joint promo with Jamar Short. I was thinking of having Stevens basically kidnap The First and drag him to some sort of high end clothing shop and explaining to him that if he was gonna tag with the champ he was gonna have to quit looking like an idiot, and The First screws it all up by still getting himself a stupid over the top outfit (something in a horrible color with a top hat most likely) and Stevens just giving up on him. Hopefully leaving The First to pay the bill for his suit ("Ummm...You kinda pulled me off the street, I don't have my credit cards handy...Trip...TRIP?)

So if you're trying to figure out what the hell to do with your character, write segments with people, interact with other characters, see what happens and learn from it.

The payoff

2009-06-24T02:50:00.000-07:00

It's why we do anything, we're into hobbies for some form of reward or another. When you're playing WoW, it's leveling your new toon up, or getting the latest piece of phat epix loot. When you're in E-Fedding, it's winning a title or having a match go the way you want.

The Stevens/First Vs Copycat/Cruise match was a payoff for me, a big payoff, the whole thing was awesome from beginning to end, it was truly one of the most unexpected and bizarre matches ever formed, then one of the most entertaining to Rp for, and then my team won it, and even had a little extra go my way.

Winding it all the way back, we go to the loss to Cruise at WrestleVerse III. I'm pretty much at a loss as to what to do with The First at this point, as he's gone from a main event contender to having lost three matches in a row, it's kind of that annoying spot where you just don't seem to fit into anything, and nothing really makes sense for the character. I didn't want to call out Copycat right away, cause I didn't feel like that match would be good in a booking sense. I mean either guy losing kind of sucks, since Copycat's debuting and The First is on a huge (By FW standards) losing streak, neither guy really should be losing that match, but really when I looked at it logically, the only play was to call out Copycat.

This proved to be my undoing, as it often is, as Garth...Copycat's handler...Had decided he wanted Copycat to do some tag matches, and wasn't so much up for a singles match. I still made the challenge in the In/Out thread because I felt it would be out of character for The First to not make that challenge.

Copycat then replied with the counter offer of a tag match with Cruise, Cruise of course had been busy not taking the World Title Shot offered him by Stevens. All of this had happened with me away from the computer for a few hours so I came back on-line to find this pile of madness awaiting me, as well as a PM from somebody who was already offering to be my tag partner for a match I didn't even know was now being talked about.

So I accepted the tag match, not having a partner and trying to work out who would be my partner, when Stevens suddenly signed up for the match, so now I've gone from a possible mid-card match with Copycat getting turned down to main eventing a tag match with the World Champ for a partner, funny how this game works sometimes.

So having lucked out into that turn of events, we then have an epic Rp fest with everyone just filling the thread with Rp's...It's an old school P* style war...

And then Straw writes an epic main event where First/Stevens win...And it pretty much works out the way I planned it...On top of that Larry Tact's handler enjoyed the "First picks up the belt and Stevens rips it away from him" spot I suggested...Which always makes me feel good...

One last thing was that I may have broken a rule of feedbackery in listing First in my 'wrestler of the night/moment of the night'. I'd never give myself credit for match of the night, cause that's pretty ego-filled...But as for characters and stuff, I'd look at a card as an objective observer and post how I think they would see things...Also I think it would be pretty disingenuous to give those 'awards' to somebody just for the sake of not picking my own guy...

You will be screwed

2009-06-17T09:48:00.000-07:00

There has been a lot of weeping and crying about people losing matches, hating bookers, complaining about this, that, and the other thing.

Get over it, you're going to lose. You're going to lose matches you shouldn't lose. Bookers will screw you over, they will promise you the moon and the stars and fail to live up to that. You will get into a match that you feel you won, your friends feel you won, and you will lose. That's the game.

Sometimes you lose for storyline purposes, sometimes you lose because the judge or judges thought the other guy Rp'ed better, but you will lose.

This is the way it's been since the dawn of time itself, hell back in the day it was even more political and more soulless...Mike Randalls jobbed to Doc Silver twice for the simple reason that Schmid was never gonna put the AAWC World Title on a guy who was dominating CSWA. I could have had Doc eating a pizza and posted "This Pizza is yummy" and retained the belt.

People always talk about the 'good old days'...They didn't exist...Hell I've been involved in so much bullshit drama, inflicting a ton of it, but also having a great deal thrown at me...

Such mindnumbing bullshit as

The Randalls/Doc, Doc quits CSWA cause the next card was posted and Randalls was defending the title so everything went to crap and I swear Chad or Steve told me in E-mail I was losing and they swear they didn't ordeal.

Being promised ownership of the CSWA and then...Not so much.

Brutally vote rigging A1E, jobbing anyhow (And having GUNS lose a match he never should have lost, double so when he was bolstered by the vote rig) having the vote rig exposed, being kicked out of A1E.

The Zane Incident

Having Andrew Medina job Doc to Jean Rabesque, thusly not paying off the angle I'd been working on with him for forever, and then having the Andrew Medina character come out and bury Doc some more. Then to top it off, he came back to me a while later seeing if I'd join a new league he opened or if I was 'still upset over what happened a long time ago'

And a ton of other slings and arrows of various degrees of annoyance have been thrown at me. It's part of the game, E-Fedding is political, it always has been, always will be, it's dealing with inter-personal relationships, and thusly drama, for you to win, somebody has to lose.

This is the nature of the beast...If you don't like it, quit...Cause really nobody cares that you got ruthlessly screwed in your last match...

You know what losing in E-Fedding is? It's taking a bad beat in poker, it's happened to everyone, it will happen again, and again, and again, and while we all know it sucks, it's the price we pay to be in this hobby, and honestly, hobbies exist just so we can complain about them all the times they don't give us the payoffs we want.

So in closing...Harden the fuck up.

New characters and Jeff Davis

2009-06-15T05:31:00.000-07:00

Making up a new character is a truly weird thing to me. You have this idea, maybe an outline for what you want out of your new character and then after a bit of working on it, you write up the bio, sign up for a card, and the character...Exists, it's in a match, your opponent is insulting them, they are firing back upon their opponent...You have just made this thing out of thin air and now it's fighting somebody and after a while everyone in the league knows this character, it's 'real'...When a couple months ago it wasn't.

Fantasy Wrestling makes that even more interesting me to because everyone has to interact with each other, so people will at some point or another run into your character and have some dealings with them, and everyone's character is different and unique to themselves (Except Flic Rair, the E-Fedding Blogosphere's running punchline)

Like in Warcraft, you got 10 classes, 10 races, 3 different talent trees you can use in each class, but that's about the end of the stuff you can do, at the end of the day, your Resto Shaman will be about the same as everyone else's Resto Shaman. There is endless ways to make characters different in E-Fedding and they all are.

I mean, it's just weird to think that Mike Randalls wouldn't have existed if Jon Katz didn't think him up. That Sean Stevens wouldn't be EPW Champion if Jamar didn't work out that idea.

And where do we even get these ideas? I mean my current favorite character to Rp and work on is The First, and he wouldn't exist if I hadn't spent a year being a co-worker to this girl. Oh the conversations we had about the dead talking to her and astral projecting and being starborn.

When Ryan started his Lucha league I had said I would join. I wasn't going to do what I had said before about bringing in The First as "El Primo" cause that would be silly, and again, I'm trying to keep him EPW centric. So on a lark I decided to make "Bloodhunt 2.0" only with more xenophobic bullshit and less JFK heavy.

A bunch of people have talked to me about bringing Bloodhunt out of retirement, but I always had him be older then Doc and be a kind of physical wreck, so I just don't think it's really that good an idea to bring him out when I don't think he could really work anymore. Davis is going to have his own thing, but he's going to always think he's losing, he could be undefeated and World Champion of FMLL and unmasked half the roster and he'd still think he was merely being set up to fail by unseen forces. The mind of a paranoid is a fantastic thing.

Just thinking about the whole Lucha fed is funny to me, we all came up with these new ideas, and now in a show or two, they'll be fighting each other, they'll be as real as JTP, Rocko Daymon, or Anarky. It's just kind of crazy how this whole e-fedding business works.

UFC 99 preview

2009-06-13T06:44:00.000-07:00

Billy's supposed to be on top of this, but he's slacking, that slacker. So here we go

MAIN EVENT

"The Axe Murderer" Wanderlei Silva Vs Rich "Ace" Franklin

This is a weird fight, they are fighting at 195 cause Franklin has been sent to 205 due to Anderson Silva owning him at 185, and Wandi is moving to 185 cause he's been beaten repeatedly at 205. Both men have shown suspect chins in their last few fights, and it's anyone's guess if Wandi's fast paced whirling dervish style of attacking will prevail over Rich Franklin's more tactical gameplan.

MY PICK: I have no idea...I guess I back Franklin, mostly because my picks end up losing and I'd like to see Wandi win, but of course since I'm now making a pick like that on purpose, odds are Wandi gets killed...

Cheick Kongo Vs Cain Velasquez

Cain is seen as the next big star in the heavyweight division and a lot of people expect him to get the takedown and beat the crap out of Kongo. Kongo always confuses the hell out of me because he's so one dimentional and horrible, yet he wins anyhow, I think this fight will be closer then most people expect.

MY PICK: I'm taking Cain because he should be able to get it to the ground and Kongo is a horror show once put on his back.

Mirko Cro Cop Vs Mostapha Al Turk

This is Cro-Cop's make or break fight, does he have another run in him or not. Al Turk was recently turned into a blood pinata by Kongo and is likely being fed to Cro Cop to try to re-establish Cro Cop as a big deal. So this fight isn't so much if Cro Cop will win, but will he win convincingly. Of course we all said the same thing before he fought Gabe Gonzaga on his way to his assured title shot with Randy Couture and that turned out really well.

MY PICK: Cro Cop wins with a knock out, but in the 2nd round so Sherdoggers can get upset with him for not being super deluxe mega awesome.

Mike "Quick" Swick Vs "Killa B" Ben Saunders

Saunders scrubbed out of TUF but has since gone on a tear and now faces a gate-keeper at 170 in Swick, who needs to look good at this weight class since he's been middling at 170 ever since he was sent down from 185 by the omni-boring and never getting a title shot ever Yushin Okami. 170 is a weird weight class with the match at UFC 100 basically being the true test for GSP and there being nobody else in the pipeline for him to really get excited over after that.

MY PICK: I think Swick ends the dream for Saunders here, and with one more win can set himself up to be a highlight reel knockout victim for the winner of the Alves/GSP fight.

Spencer "The King" Fisher Vs Caol Uno

Uno makes his return to the Octogon after being away for pretty much forever. Fisher is a gate-keeper of sorts at 155, winning and losing off and on, his fights are hard to predict, since he'll dominate somebody and then go out and get lay and prayed to death the next time out. Who knows what we'll get out of Uno. 155 is so deep I don't know if either guy will make a good run at it, but this should be a good fight.

MY PICK: I blindly hate Spencer Fisher because he comes from the same camp as Matt Hughes and all those guys seem like cocky bastards. I spite pick Uno.

Marcus "The Irish Hand Grenade" Davis Vs Dan "The Outlaw" Hardy

These two have talked a ton of trash, and odds are they'll be out for blood. This could be fight of the night if it makes it past 2 minutes.

MY PICK: It won't, cause Davis will kill Hardy, it might be legit murder also.

Roleplaying is good

2009-06-08T00:20:00.000-07:00

Having read Jon Katz's post on Billy's blog, and having already replied to it, I read it again and figured I needed to tackle the issue on my own blog, since I tend to have the view that roleplay is good and important in leagues, and it doesn't feel like Katz does.

His first point is that if a league is small then only 2-3 people dominate. I think that would happen anyhow if a league is small, and why wouldn't a small fed have 2-3 dominating characters and the rest are left to fend for themselves? I mean what gives the guys who aren't doing lots of Rp and working hard to advance their characters the right to be in the main event and hold the big title?

His other side of the issue is that if you got to much talent then you can't establish a dominating champion...Who says you can't? Sean Stevens is a dominating champion in my eyes, I'd say he's been well established...Beyond him I'd think Marcus Westscott has been put into a good position as the #1 contender, and I feel like The First, even with him being my own character, has been pretty well established as a solid face. Anthology always get raves from people after every card, I think EPW's whole upper-midcard teir has been well cemented.

I'm not saying I think EPW is 100% Rp based...I think angles and storylines outside Rp factor into matches, I think they have to in every league, if you just judge every match based on Rp then you lack any ability to build storylines or angles that lead to payoffs, there has to be some storyline arc that you're using as a justification for getting from point A to point B.

As for the '150 pound woman' and '75 pound midget' comments, I mean, shots at Lindsay Troy and Duchess are always good fun for the whole family, but honestly, who's Rp'ing these characters on FW.com currently? This is a strawman arguement against roleplaying. I'm a belt whore of the highest order and if somebody told me that The First was to small to be world champion because they never really bought Jeff Hardy as being a legit main eventer...Then odds are I'd work out a different gimmick for that league, because I myself want to win World Titles, and I'm not going to have my character hold me back from that. Now maybe the guy who Rp's the 75 pound midget doesn't want a World Title and would rather do all kinds of zany shit in the mid-card, to each their own.

The thing about this comment is, you would be upfront with the handler that you're never putting the World Title on that character because they don't fit your mold as a champion, and that's perfect with me, handlers and fed-heads should have open lines of communication where they express their opinons about characters and what they think they should be doing and where they are going with the character.

Rp has to matter because otherwise you are encouraging people to be lazy, you're fostering this mindset that it's OK to not do a bunch of Rp's because 'we're all adults now, we have jobs, families, lives' etc, when if people do give a damn about a league, we get 20+ posts in a tag title main event on EPW. I know that Siegel and I are nuts, but Garth stumbled off the street and in his first match put in his work to hang with everyone, and Jamar didn't slack either. It was the most fun I'd had in ages in a thread.

It was like the scene in "The Crow" where the main villian, the never named Top Dollar, declares he's done with Devil's Night because it's boring and cliche, and when finally asked if he doesn't want anyone to set a fire he says what he wants is a REALLY BIG FIRE, so that the Gods will notice us again...

It was to me, a stark contrast to the EPW World Title match at Wrestleverse. I know Straw only did one Rp because he was working out an angle for Rocko to lose first, and I know Holzerman had one foot out the door of E-Fedding at the time, and Jamar tends to Rp best when pushed by his opponents (see the tag thread and the thread for First/Stevens)...But that thread kind of hurt me, because Brunk had thought about putting The First in that match for a while before deciding against it, and then to see that lackluster level of Rp...It just killed me. People tend to poo-poo E-Fedding and give the whole 'It's just a game' or 'it's a silly hobby' mentality to things, but honestly, we do spend time at this, and we have goals to achieve in leagues, and when your goal is to be EPW Champion and you see a title match where there is merely 1 post from each guy and they call it a day...It's just like "AHHHHHHHH!!!!"

Basically I think Rp should matter a lot, because it shows your level of committment and caring to your league you're in, and if you put in work, it should be rewarded at some point. Angles and Storylines have to count also, because without a story to tell the Rp is just meaningless, but the Rp should effect who the stories are told about.

And as for TEAM...TEAM is to me a kind of 'one-off' event. Like a friendly between two nations in Soccer. It is it's own seperate thing and pretty much divorced from the other leagues, the bitching and yelling and crys of 'bullshit' about TEAM are based almost totally off the fact that we have no idea what the standards for judging Rp are, because we don't know who the judges are. That's about it. I think if Adam just handled all the matches or the judging panel was public it would be a lot better.

Now I'm gonna go do something productive with my time, such as farm herbs on my blood elf rogue.

Compete Vs cooperate and shooting

2009-06-05T19:52:00.000-07:00

A lot of times in E-Fedding we come to a point where we really have to ask ourselves if this next match is really worth winning by going balls to the wall all out total Rp and angle war, or if it's a match that we would be better served by working out a deal with the opponent...

I think of Godbooks and storyline advancing matches as a sort of plea agreement between both sides..."The jury" is the fed head or bookers and in a bunch of matches you don't want your case going to them, cause you might just lose outright.

But the question is can you get something better out of working a deal. And can the deal help out both people in the match? This is really where E-Fedding is kind of weird, because a lot of times the opponent you're fighting to death today, is the guy you need to help you tomorrow.

I tend to think that if you're not in the World Title picture that odds are you should try to cut deals and work out storylines with as many people as you can to build yourself up to the point where you can fight for the World Title...And that on the whole, the World Title scene is going to be people competing against each other with no quarter given or asked, because this is what we're all trying to do, win the big belt.

I was reading Billy's blog and it talked about how I am both shot on, ("Brian") and am a shooter. My defense.

Mass murdering isn't generally a sold gimmick in any league I've been in, I can't imagine somebody trying to get over in EPW/NFW/LVW/WFW:NE/The Lucha Thing Ryan's Got Going/Etc. The Doc character could never accept this gimmick, because it's so stupid, and for as big of a business exposing jerk as he is, this is a bridge to far even for him.

A goth idiot...Is a goth idiot...First's first match had him refered to as a Michael Manson rip off...So I can't see how he's exposing the biz as it were. I know Billy covered all that, but I just wanted to say my own piece.

Also, as I've told anyone willing to listen to me for more then a minute about the gimmick, the person of Brian Nadalny is that of an idiot goth outcast who hung out with his gaggle of goth moron friends and around the age of 16, he had the epiphany that he had the soul of the first human being to get a soul put in them, and thusly in a night of weepie goth bullshit, got all his idiot friends to buy into his shit and call him First...

So he's really living the gimmick...There is a reason I call him a moron all the time. Hell I'd make fun of him if I was dealing with him.

3 world champions, 9 dollars

2009-06-01T06:13:00.001-07:00

Dealing the WSOP is surreal. It's truly jarring, you have the high stakes assholes who are just worthless pieces of shit who treat you like garbage. I got another one today, he was a prince. Just a loathsome worthless bastard who spent my whole half hour of dealing looking down his nose at me, doing everything he could to be a prick. These people have suffered the stunning realization that money doesn't make you happy and thusly spent their days making people as miserable as they are.

Of course all these people are cheap as can be, a bunch of stiffs, I made 19 dollars and had to give 10 of it back cause a game broke while I was dealing and the bank was off 10. Counting banks is next to impossible because you have these fuckers breathing down your neck the moment you sit down demanding action, while you're supposed to be counting down 1,000 dollars worth of chips in your bank.

That's the bad news, the good news is just how weird this event is, and what happens when you're here. My room mate and I are walking into the area where the WSOP is being dealt and as we're walking in, we see Dan Harrington walking the other way. A few moments later we see Peter Eastgate also walking the opposite way. To finish things up about a minute later we see Robert Varkonyi walking with his wife Olga. Just a run of the mill day for a couple WSOP dealers to see three main event champions walking around the halls of the Rio.

Hopefully tomorrow will be less asshole, more money.

BGT

2009-05-30T17:08:00.001-07:00

Let it never be said I can predict anything.

I loved Diversity and am so glad they won, youtube all their performances, they are beyond excellent.

Shocked the saxophone player got third. I guess the brits didn't want another dancing kid to win it all again.

Boyle will still get a singing deal out of this so she's not hurting for the loss.

WSOP day 2

2009-05-30T03:10:00.000-07:00

Day 1 I got kicked out after 2 hours, it was boring.

Day 2 was my first real moment of being thrown into the fire, it was a kind of jarring. I'd dealt kiddie pool poker my whole career, 1-2 no limit, maybe a 2-5 every once in a blue moon. Here I was dealing 5-10 no limit with deep deep stacks. 5-10 Pot-Limit Omaha with people buying in for 2,000 a pop. It was really crazy the size of the bets and of course, with this much money comes assholes. I had one real piece of shit in the 4 seat at one table just give me a working over, he was one of those people you wish they would get shot, but not shot like now-a-days, I mean shot like in the revolutionary war when you got hit in the stomach and the doctors had no idea what to do about it just declared it was fatal and then you spent the next 12-48 hours in ripping agony before your body finally gave out on you.

The dealer ahead of me brutally screwed up the final pot, an all-in was called and he pushed the pot without counting down the size of the winning stack, and that led to a giant ordeal. I got into the game not knowing it was a timed game (We take 8 dollars per person per half hour as the rake) and thusly against the rules of WSOP, dealt a hand without taking time, when I tried to stop and take time the 4 seat screamed "We're not stopping in the middle of a hand for time!" and then everyone starting bitching about how the dealers suck, are idiots, morons, etc. They say all this shit without caring that you can hear then, cause they know you just have to take their shit.

From them I then dealt to Chris Moneymaker, who's a really nice guy, he tips, which is more then I can say for most people. His table was really cheerful and friendly, it was a good game all around.

I had more shitty table in the night, a bunch of not so happy people at a really boring 5-10 no limit game. One guy was whining about the game being slowed down by having a player only having 100's in front of him, it was good times.

I dealt a crazy 25-25 PLO game with the button straddling every hand for 50. A few players had 20,000 in front of them, but no hands ever got out of control in the PLO.

Just another one of the glorious days I'll be having at the series. More updates as I work.

The First Issue, and BGT

2009-05-29T23:47:00.000-07:00

So I woke up today and I find myself suddenly in the mist of a random series of events as it appeared Josh, Rp'er of Anarky, had been driven to outrage over yet another "Brian" filled First Rp by a First opponent. Over the course of a series of PM's I hashed out the whole issue with Brunk and then posted a Brunk approved message on the forums about the ordeal.

I'm really sorry about everything and that's about all I can say.

Lastly I'm just like to restate again that First is such a total moron of a character I'd like to think I give people tons of ammo to use on him such that I'd hope calling him "Brian" would be about 1,000th on the list of weapons to use against him.

Now for far more important news, I've become a Britain's got talent mark (Soon to be an America's got talent mark once AGT comes back on) and so the big question really is.

Can Aidan Davis upset Susan Boyle?

Everything seems to be lining up for the young dancer, he won the last semi-final so he has the momentum going into the final, Boyle's been invovled in a bunch of sketchy off TV events that could hurt her, because Davis was on the last show, odds are he can just repeat his act, while people will expect Boyle to sing a new song and she might not do so well on it.

All this said...No, he can't beat her, nobody's stopping her...She's the story this year, so she's winning it. I hope I'm wrong cause I think Davis needs the win more then her, but I doubt it. (Note: I also had Cleveland winning the NBA title this year and that isn't looking so good.)

The top 3

1. Boyle
2. Davis
3. Diversity (edging out Flawless)

Nomination for TEAM judge

2009-05-27T22:27:00.000-07:00

What with the Supreme Court being in the headlines and the raging fight raging on Billy's blog via nameless people, I felt the need to step forth and offer my services after this tournament is over to be a full time judge on TEAM. I've become a mark for "Britain's Got Talent" over the last month or so and I really feel like TEAM should have 3 very public judges who go over all the matches and make their decisions.

People complain about losing all the time, it's one of the reasons we all get into this hobby, the feeling of being wronged is something I thing we all can really get into.

The problem is that when people lose in TEAM they blame "TEAM" this faceless entity that existed only to incorrectly judge the Rp in their match and give victory to the undeserving party. It's also deeply annoying to lose in TEAM because TEAM is just a straight Rp event, there is no angles to build off of a loss, no storylines to follow up, you lose and you're done, it's a pretty cold reality. You would like to at least understand the logic of why you lost, and public judges would help with that, cause they would have to explain themselves to the public for why they made the decision they did.

So why should I be trusted to judge TEAM? Well I've been in E-Fedding for forever and have seen just about everything, I spend way to much time on this hobby. I understand character development and the finer points of 'smacktalk' Rp, which is what TEAM is. And I have a pretty simple series of criteria for picking a winner.

1) Effort

Effort is what matters most to me, putting the first Rp up. Stacking somebody. I know people are always going on about 'quality vs quantity' and how 1 good Rp should beat 40 bad ones, but why is that? Good is subjective, I mean crap is crap and that's all there is to it, but if somebody gets off a solid first Rp, their opponent replies back with some epic Rp that makes me weep...And then the first guy writes another good reply, and then a stacking good reply...The first guys wins, he was hungry, he wanted it more, that's all there is to it...If you want to win, don't let yourself be stacked, 48 hours is plenty of time to get an Rp up, and this is TEAM, this is a pure Rp wins format, you know what you were getting into when you signed up.

2) Character

Your character is what you are portraying here, so I'd expect to see that, if I don't know your character I'll read your bio and then check out the league your from and read Rp's you've done to get a baseline for your character. Then I'd expect him to stay as that person. He might be fighting a total stranger, but that's something that often happens in TEAM. I want to see your guy being your guy thrown into this match.

"But you spent your whole time burying Christian Daniels for being a murderer"

That was as Doc Silver, hater of horrible gimmicks. As a judge if I'm judging his Rp's I want to see him killing people in clever ways so as to not be caught, I want "Christian Daniels, biker crime lord" rocking the bikerdom, and the crime lord...

3) The debate

This is a buncha smacktalking, I want you crushing your opponent's smacktalk in a coherent way that is true to your character, controlling the flow of the debate. When people don't have very solid talking points in their Rp's it generally means you skimmed your opponent's stuff. That's weaksause, read it and refute it.

4) Most overt pandering to my pet interests*

If it's really close and you're nervous about victory, pander shamelessly. Quote Garbage lyrics, go for B-sides and shit that's really obscure or I won't really feel like your trying. Talk about 'hand-range' and 'M' in relation to poker. Bring up the JFK assassination and who you think did it. Talk about Warcraft. Odds are it's 1-1 in the judging and I'm deciding if all your hard work is going to be rewarded or not, so you might as well placate me.

*= This is all a lie, none of this will help you.

Maybe I should have PM'ed Adam all this, but then I wouldn't have anything to blog about, and besides, I'd want it to be public anyhow, so I figured I'd post it here.

So that's that, off to await round 2 results and remember, if Doc jobs to Cruise it's the greatest outrage in the history of E-Fedding! Expect a redaction filled tirade right after I see that result!

(Or not. I can't honestly worry to much about matches where I'm writing friggin movie Rp's into the threads.)

What was EPW's match of the year
	Copycat Vs Winters
	Stevens Vs Daymon Vs JA
	Stevens Vs First
	Stevens Vs Westscott

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Who had a bigger impact on EPW?
	Anthology
	Sean Stevens

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EPW breakout star of the year
	Copycat
	Fusenshoff
	Layne Winters
	Sean Edmunds

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